Fighting To The Gun

These last few months have been a flurry of learning and experiences for me. Shortly after completing my Emergency Medical Technician (EMT) training, my husband and I enrolled in Krav Maga, an Israeli version of down and dirty self defense training. While going through that program our instructor learned we were firearms instructors and got his first ever private firearms lesson from me.

Our experiences are almost exactly opposite one another. He is a career martial artists who has dedicated decades of his life to hand-to-hand combat yet he knows next to nothing about firearms. He wants to get his concealed carry permit and so he wants to learn about guns but his mindset has not adapted to the gun yet. When given self defense scenarios he brilliantly comes up with unarmed responses and when given the option of a firearm it's an awkward afterthought he has to be reminded of.

I, on the other hand, have come from a very different background of ideals and training. I've spent almost seven years learning about guns. I have little doubt that I would be a formidable opponent with a firearm. But I have to get to the firearm first. As our Krav instructor amuses himself with his near inability to remember a gun as an option, I frustrate myself with my lack of options if a gun is not available.

He doesn't know how lucky he is and how irritated I am.

In my blog titled Gun Centric Much?? I talked about the carry community's dirty little secret and that is that the gun is way over pushed as a solution to every self defense problem. Just today I got a comment that said, "... my plan has always been not to FIGHT if I can just SHOOT!"

That statement, quite frankly, is terrifying. 

First, I'm going to touch a bit on legalities. Not every self defense situation out there warrants the use of a firearm or deadly/lethal force in general. Nor should anyone's goal be to use lethal force when they have a less-than-lethal option available to them. As Rory Miller put it in Facing Violence: Preparing for the Unexpected the basic formula is this:

"You may use the minimum level of force that you reasonably believe is necessary to safely resolve the situation." 

If you want a further breakdown of what that means I strongly encourage you to pick up the book and read it for yourself. It's very enlightening and essential information for anyone who wants to understand the legalities of using lethal force.

In a nutshell, however, if you are going to have a lethal means of self defense on your person then you should understand when you can and cannot use it.

But, let's get past that. Let's say you are perfectly justified in using lethal force. In fact, you MUST use lethal force to defend yourself.

You've just been assaulted. A man twice your size with three times your strength has just attacked you. He's fighting to get his hands around your neck (or worse, he already has them there) and he's growling that he's going to kill you. 

Well, if polled, a vast majority of people would respond to this scenario with a hearty, "I'd shoot him!"

That sounds pretty simple, doesn't it?

But as your reach your hand back toward your gun your attacker recognizes the gesture, reaches down and grabs your gun hand, stopping your draw. He also begins to pull up his shirt and you see he also has a gun.. and he's reaching for it.

Now what?

"I'd shoot him!" doesn't seem to be so simple any more, does it?

What many people who carry guns fail to realize is that, in many cases, the hardest part of using a firearm in self defense is actually getting to the gun. 

I can feel the eye-rolling through the screen. 

"I carry my gun on my body in an easy-to-access location. It's in an open top holster with no retention device. I practice my draw stroke daily. I have a less-than-a-second draw. I ever wear tactical clothing with weighted corners so that it can be brushed aside easier. I never button my cover garment....."

Those are good things. And they mitigate some other problems with getting to your gun. But they no amount of ease of access is going to help you free your gun hand from your attacker's if that just happens to be the way the fight starts.

I once asked the members of a gun forum I moderate what they would do if their first indication of danger was that their gun hand was grabbed by an attacker.

I was shocked when a good number of members flat out said, "I don't know."

Most attacks happen at very close distances. Many of them within five feet and if anyone tells you they don't let strangers get that close to them they are lying or delusional. In many cases, the first indication of danger is a surprise attack, a sucker punch, a grab, a push. Yes, sometimes there is an interview stage where a potential attacker will ask for the time or money or a cigarette, but, again if escalation occurs you may well find yourself in a physical fight just to get to your gun. Then you still have to make effective shots, potentially while still in a physical struggle.

On Monday we did a bit of this in Krav. It was/is not easy to do. I have two bruised knees, a sore foot, scrapped ankle, bruised back and scratches on the front and back of both of my upper arms. I also have a nasty three-day-old headache from said head being bounced off the mat (Thank God there WAS a mat!).

There are three scenarios we worked.

1. Getting to the gun.
2. Keeping the gun when your attacker discovers you have one.
3. Keeping your gun and defending against an attackers gun.

Depending on the scenario, getting the gun can be hard enough.

Someone grabs your gun hand, you may have a smorgasbord or options depending on your training and the situation. Whether you punch him in the nose, kick him in the groin I don't care as long as it gets you free to get to your gun if it needs to escalate to that. It might not need to go there, but at least you have that option now.

The number one, absolute best way to keep your gun is to keep it in its holster. Correction: Keep it in its QUALITY holster. The little nylon one-size-fits-most piece of junk you bought for $5 on the sale rack that has two tears in the plastic that holds the firearm to your belt is NOT a quality holster. Now, I certainly understand that not everyone can carry in a quality belt holster. Some outfits and carry needs demand an array of holster options that may be less-than-ideal. However, whenever possible, I would hope (and assume) that you are carrying in the best holster you could find for your lifestyle and needs. And, dare I say, if your cell phone has a better holster than your gun than you may need to rethink some priorities.

Now, here is the problem with keeping that firearm in the holster. If the holster does not have an active retention device (and even if it does (depending on how much you trust that retention device)) it's going to take one of your hands. Which means that you are going to be fighting with one hand tied behind your back. Protect your head the best you know how (and if you don't know how I suggest you learn how) and get mean. Go nuts. Do whatever you can. If someone is trying to get your gun the likely outcome if they succeed is not going to be them smiling fondly and saying, "HA HA! I got it."

And lastly, keep your eyes open and look for tell-tale signs that the attacker is going for a weapon of his own. Reaching to the hip or under a shirt are two big ones. They are universal signs announcing, "I have a gun."

So, here you are. You have one hand on your gun, trying to keep it in the holster because some guy is grabbing for it. You have your head buried in his chest and you're trying to defend it from his blows while also staying on your feet and trying to get him off of you. And you see him reach for his waistband. 

I wish I had an easy solution to this one. It's a crappy situation for sure. If the scenario doesn't open your eyes to the understanding that you might need a little more training than a day or two at the range than I don't know what will.

On Monday, my favored response seemed to be attempting to get to his gun before he could.

When you grab a gun from someone else's waistband it's likely going to come out of the holster like this:

Use it. Your pinky can just as effectively shoot a gun as your trigger finger can (I hope). You will have to fight the urge to just drive the muzzle into his flesh and pull the trigger. Why? Because you're going to push the slide out of battery and it won't fire. If it doesn't fire after that, oh well. At least you have a nice bludgeoning tool. Start bludgeoning.

But let's say he gets the gun first? I'll have to get back to you on that one because it just plain sucks. The gun-nut in me wants to say, "How well do you know your guns?" A wheel gun with a stopped up cylinder cannot fire. Grab that cylinder and hold on tight. Any semi-auto with a slide out of battery cannot fire. A gun also cannot fire to the side. Get "inside the gun" (meaning behind the muzzle vs in front of it) and try to stay there while you commence the fight of your life. It seemed to work okay for me on Monday but I can't say I got away without ever getting shot. Which is why I have Option C: Medical Supplies!!

Lastly, get used to firing from unnatural positions. On Monday, I "fired" twice from the ground (thank goodness for the training I've had that kept my legs and knees out of the way of my muzzle) , multiple times with my attackers gun held in my off hand upside down (as in the picture above), point blank. I believe that only once did I get a two-handed shooting grip and that was because I was able to get my attacker off of me, get some suitable distance and draw on him while he was still on the ground.

I found it interesting to watch our Krav instructor work. He's much more likely to take a gun away and beat the attacker with it than use it because he's still incorporating firearms into his mindset. Others were also reluctant to shoot because they were either unfamiliar with guns or perhaps even intimidated by them. My sparring partner was more than a little trigger happy, however, and would shoot me whenever he got the chance. My husband and I were also quick to pull the trigger given the opportunity (for better or worse). Our only real advantage was our willingness to fire from unconventional shooting positions whereas I saw others actually taking the time to try to transfer firearms to their dominant hands or turn them around to make a shot.

This post isn't so much about what to do in these situations (because I'm still learning that, too) but to make you aware that sometimes getting to the gun is a lot harder than you might imagine. And "I'd just shoot him" can mean a lot of exchanging blows before you even a gun out of a holster.

Learn to be ready to fight to your gun.

No Easy Way

A few days ago I saw a posting on a forum by a woman asking for advice on being better prepared to defend herself and her children at home.
 
Immediately she listed some restrictions including no guns, no knives, no dogs and no impact weapons.

Restrictions are understandable for various reasons and that is the great thing about self/home defense, there is an abundance of options.

And the options came pouring in. Pepper spray, increasing quality of locking mechanisms, alarm systems, etc. For personal security it was suggested some hand-to-hand defense classes might be a prudent investment in addition to carrying taser or personal alarm. The information was mostly solid and standard for the kind of information being sought.

Then the woman came back with her list of excuses. Too much money, too much time, too much change, too much risk of getting hurt. She didn't think it would be worth it, didn't think it would work. By the end of reading her response it felt a bit like, "Well, I guess I'm just doomed, but thanks anyway."

She, and many others like her, come to self defense like someone goes shopping for an outfit to make them look skinny when they are overweight. They want all of the results without any of the work. They want that magic trick of the eye that will melt off their ill preparedness and not only mask it but actually work in the event it is needed. It doesn't work that way. There is no easy way. At least not an effective one.

If you want to be better prepared and better able to defend yourself and others in the event you need to do so, it's going to take spending a little money, getting a little dirty or bruised, a few days out of your weekends and some hours in your evenings. It's going to take a commitment and work and effort.

There is no specific order of things that must be done, or no specific list of things you must get, but it's a truth that people find both time and money for things they really want or need.

Set a budget for both your time and your money. Set a goal for your personal security, home security, family or work security or a combination of them all. Work until you've achieved that goal and then set a new one.

It may not be easy but it's worth it.

Contusions of Krav #2

We have a guy in class who is 6' 4", 250 lbs. I love/hate sparring with him because he's a monster (151 lbs and 1' 2" my superior) but if anything I do is working against him it will work against almost anyone.

One thing we are learning against such a big opponant is "cutting him down" so that vital areas are accessible. We do this mainly by attacking his knees.

Except, this is what happens when you attempt to knee someone in the soft part of the knee and end up hitting the hard part.

Of course you need to be very careful when attacking any knee while sparring because they are easily injured so this impact was pretty whimpy. Nevertheless, it left my knee looking a little worse for wear. He just stood there and laughed at me while I started making whining noises.

Moral of the story:
When you attempt to knee a knee, go deep.

Contusions of Krav #1

There's an old joke:
"What do you tell a man with two black eyes?........ Nothing, he's already been told twice."

The moral of the story is, you learn from your beatings... or, at least you should.

I've now been doing Krav for just over a month. We started out pretty slow with a few class mates extra hesitent to really bring the aggression that is quite frankly needed in the kind of fighting Krav is made for.

So I wasn't really getting hit.

You'd think that was a good thing. But I'm not paying to stand around and learn a few moves that I can't really be sure are effective against a determined attacker.

I came here to learn how to fight and in order to do that.. well, you gotta get your skin dirty.
This is my first good Krav bruise obtained while sparring with a former tae student. He must have kicked me twenty-five times in the thigh and while it didn't seem to hurt much at the time I was feeling it the next day. And he was pulling his kicks big time. His full force blows would put me on my butt.

We haven't gotten much into defending against kicks but this mark makes me wonder what I could do different?

Move? Try to catch the kick? I'll have to come back later and think about my lesson learned... for now the lesson is sheer body toughening.

My phone does not do the deep purples justice.

Krav Maga: Week 1

I decided a long time ago that if I were to ever get into any kind of a hand-to-hand defensive training program, Krav Maga would be it.

I don't remember how I first learned about Krav but it immediately appealed to me.

I've heard it described in many different ways but the gist of Krav is dirty, effective, street fighting. There is not a lot of fancy moves or strikes. It's not for sport or for show or points. Krav is about kicking someone's behind quickly and effectively so that you can get away.

At the same time I don't want to say that Krav is 100% about defense either. Whereas that is what you would use it for, Krav is very much into the "the best defense is a good offense" kind of a thing.

Now, I do not come from a martial arts background. I have nothing to compare this training to other than the few one-time-only self defense classes I may have attended throughout my lifetime (mostly within the last four years). In which case it makes sense that I would go ahead and compare what I'm seeing to those and what I like and/or don't like.

1) I love that I get to go back.
In one time self defense classes, you go for an hour, maybe a couple hours, maybe even a couple of days and that is it. You are thrown a ton of information in a very short period of time and given a matter of minutes to try to perfect the move before you have to move on. While good stuff does stick with you it's understandable that a lot of it is lost.

When you are enrolled in a structured program, however, the pace is a lot slower. You get one, maybe two or three moves that you work on throughout the class. You have much more time to work with your sparring partners and work on the skill and even chances to see variations and modify. If/when you forget something, you will very likely be presented with it again in an upcoming class so you are refreshed and reminded and get to work it out all over again.

2) I love the small class.
This may change, but because Krav is very new to the area and there wasn't a lot of advertisement, the class only has four people in it right now, including myself. We all get a lot of attention and a lot of opportunity to work the moves. Of course a few more students would mean a little more diversity in sparring partners but I really hope it stays small. Definitely under ten students.

3) I love what I'm learning.
I'm not spending hours standing there and repeating a move over and over and over again. While I know that has benefit and has its place in training, 100% of the moves I make are against another person.

If we are shown a punch or a jab or a grab or a hook, we are immediately lined up against a sparring partner and told to try it out against them. While I do find myself phantom punching throughout the day (and laughing as my son tries to copy my mad moves) I love that I get to work with other people and not air or a dummy when in class.

I am, however, really liking the idea of a punching bag in my basement for non-class days.

As to what I don't like?

Well, the top of that list would be my lack of strength. I won't waste a lot of time wallowing in self pity and excuses. I need to make a change if I mean to be serious about this. Especially if I'm going to be putting so much money into it every month. Might as well get the most out of it by making the most out of me. While I understand that sometimes sheer determination, willpower and aggression can help you succeed, it doesn't hurt to also be strong enough to back yourself up, too. Lord knows I'll never be big enough.

Second on that list would be the lack of aggression by the guys towards me.

I've complained about this before. I go to male-dominated classes and I watch them kick the crap out of each other. Then we switch sparring partners and they treat me like I'm a crystal vase.

One of the guys in the class whimpers, "My mom is going to be so mad at me," every time he hits me.

But, the good thing about this is that we are going to be seeing each other twice a week for who knows how long and hopefully that means he (and the other guy in class) will get over it and get to the point where he's okay being more forceful with me. The instructor sure is and so is my husband. While the instructor tries not to pair me and my husband up I'm perfectly okay with it because my husband will actually fight me and that's what I want. Guys aren't doing me any favors by taking it easy on me. An attacker isn't going to pull his punches, I don't want my sparring partners to either. Okay, well, maybe just enough so I don't break anything.

As to what I've learned so far?

The sort of Krav Maga motto: Simultaneous defense and offense, drive 'em back and finish with a bang! Then disengage and look for the rest of them (cause we all know bad guys run in packs).

Something else that's being driven home is something I've known for a long time but can't seem to get: Getting in close.

Man, I hate, Hate, HATE getting in close to my attacker. Who doesn't? Right?

Someone starts showing aggression towards me the last place I was to be is at a distance where I can smell his breath and feel his sweat.

I hate it. I loathe it. I want to back away, turn away, run away. I will give almost anything to not get close to my aggressor. When intimidated I tend to immediately start thinking, "Don't hurt me," or "How can I get away?"

The problem is that it doesn't work very well. In fact, it's never worked for me.. at all. I get my butt handed to me every time I try to go completely on the defensive with a "get away" mindset.

Granted, getting away is exactly what you should do when you have a chance to get away, but when the game is on and you are in the encounter, the time for defensive posturing and crawling away is over. It's time to crank up the aggression, go big, get in his face and take the fight to him.

So what do we do in Krav? Well, of course we step in.

If there is a list of steps to take in any Krav Maga move book I think Step # 1 would always be, "Step in."

Okay, maybe not every move but darn near.

Someone's going to punch you? Step # 1: Step in!

Someone's trying to grab you? First, step in!

I spent the majority of the last class with both arms wrapped around my sparring partners, hanging from their necks or waists, using their own bodies to jokey for position and land good blows. I was in their faces, between their legs, under their arms, wiping the sweat of their brow from my neck. I hated it, but loved it because it's exactly what I need to get over my distance phobia that would likely get me killed if put to a real world test.

I'm also digging the simultaneous defense and attack thing.

Deflect a blow and punch him in the nose, or throat, or kick him in the groin or elbow him in the face.

LOVE IT!!

And from there it's game on. There are no rules in Krav.

LOVE IT!!

We've learned a couple of punches, jabs and moves to get out of grabs and a cool neck hold thing that's hard to explain. Not a whole lot of stuff but good stuff (I think).

This is good for me. It intimidates me, it makes me uncomfortable, it emphasizes my weaknesses, but it's what I need so I'll drag myself there next week and probably the week after that, too.

Gun Centric Much??

On the third day of Handguns 1-3 at TDI this spring I was introduced to a sort of force-on-force portion of the class taught by Bill Posey. In this exercise he made up scenarios and randomly selected students to interact with to see how they would respond to the unfolding scenario. There is, of course, no right answer but the point of the drill is to get people thinking about scenarios and what they may or may not do in said scenario.

While waiting for my turn to get picked on there was a scenario where Bill had his hands in his back pockets and was walking toward a student about twice his size while asking for money. The student, a former Marine, started to insist that Bill stay away but Bill ignored him. When Bill got about 15 ft from the student he pulled out a dummy knife and charged him.

The student dropped to his knee and pulled his gun (this was a force-on-force scenario, not a live-fire drill, obviously) but of course Bill was able to "stab" the student several times while the student attempted to even retrieve his firearm. This is the Tueller Drill at its finest. Of course, we talked about the Tueller Drill and Bill asked what we thought of the scenario.

I chimed in that had it been me I would not have attempted to go for my gun. Instead I would have gone for control of the knife. The former Marine interjected with, "There is no way you are going to be able to take a knife away from someone like me."

"I'm not trying to take it away," I said. "I'm just trying to keep you from stabbing me with it. That's my first goal. Then, if I can control you enough or gain enough distance to get out a weapon of my own I'll go for that. At least that's what I learned in the knife class."

Bill said, "Well, you've had additional training in these kinds of scenarios but not everyone has that same level of training."

There was a look of confusion amongst some of the other students and later I got to talk to a few who seemed concerned by the scenario in that the student went for his gun and was so easily stabbed. Of course, in that scenario he got no more than touched by a rubber knife, but in real life he put himself on the ground and would have easily had 3-4 hilt-deep knife wounds in his head/neck area before he even got his gun out of the holster. Doesn't seem like a winning situation to me.

I thought about this for a moment and it kind of bothered me.

I had to go to a knife class to learn the fundamental rules for drawing a weapon (gun, knife, what have you). I did not learn this "additional training" from a gun class.

What I've learned from gun class after gun class is, "GET YOUR GUN OUT FAST!"

Whether spoken or not there seems to be a predominant theory in the gun community that alertness, speed of draw and movement (or getting off the x) will save you in 100% of questionable or deadly scenarios. Yes, those things are an enormous factor in successful gunfighting, but no matter how fast you are, if your first indication of a threat is facing a weapon and your first thought is to get your own, then I speculate there might be some holes in your training.

And I'm speaking to myself as much as anyone here. I have gun class trainings coming out of my ears but still feel horribly inadequate when dealing with certain scenarios and, truth be told, the more I learn and the more I train, the less and less confidence I have in firearms as the defensive weapons they are hailed as. They have their place, no question about that, but it is limited and often secondary to good common sense, hand-to-hand skills and flat out luck!

Sure, I can be alert. I can practice my draw stroke until I can draw and fire accurately in 1/2 a second. I can even draw while moving but still end up with a knife buried in my throat because I'm putting too much effort into the wrong thing. I'm gun-centric instead of self-defense-centric.

And isn't that the point? Isn't that what we are here to do and learn? Defensive training? Why then, are we learning how to attack our guns and move and shoot with our guns when our guns are an afterthought?

Of course, you don't pay gun schools to learn about non-gun options and good gun schools recognize this. They give you what you pay them for--good gun training--and beg and plead with you to go out and flesh out your training in other areas knowing full well that most of their students will ignore that advice. Many will never take another self defense related class in their lives, thinking, as one man told me, "I already have my permit. School's out."

Don't get me wrong. The training I'm receiving is phenomenal. It's unbeatable and it's exactly what you need if you are going to carry a gun but it's not the beginning. Or, at least, it shouldn't be.
I can't help but feeling it's like a lot of people are rushing to first grade without first completing kindergarten or even preschool. We're trying to build sky-scrapers without learning to add 2 and 2 and trying to paint masterpieces without learning our colors.

What's worse is that there seem to be so many people who rush people off to first grade and don't even tell them that kindergarten is an option. They are rushing them off to gun schools and pushing them into ranges and off to apply for carry permits without a single mention of things like hand-to-hand defense or critical thinking and mindset preparation. Those who do recommend those things are drowned out by the droves of people who seem to believe a firearm is all one would ever need to be properly defended in this world. Inconsequentially, these are also the people who often say they will not even visit states or places where their firearm is not welcome.

Beginners to the field of self defense who consider a gun as an option are thrown into labyrinth of gun-centric idealism, conversation and training that carries them like a zealous wave. And like a wave they are swept away by the newness and the sensationalism of carrying that firearm; by, perhaps, the power they may feel and perhaps even by the enjoyment of the sport of shooting and the great friends made along the way (because, yes! gun people are some of the greatest people on earth... no doubt of it!)

But if put to the actual test, simulated or real, of defending themselves against some of even the most basic of attacks, they fumble for their firearms and flounder at their defense like a 2nd grader whose trying to learn to divide without first having learned how to add.

I got caught up in it myself. When I first started becoming more concerned about self defense I didn't go to hand-to-hand combat classes. I didn't go out and buy pepper spray. I didn't go to a women's self defense seminar. I bought a gun. One of my first "defensive" classes was a 2-day gun class. I've put more hours and money into gun training than I have ever put into any other form of self defense. And when pitted against simulated attacks my inadequacies to defend myself completely are glaringly obvious.

It frustrates me. I feel as though I've wasted my time.

I know that's not true. If forced to go to the triggers I have confidence that I would be a formidable opponent. But if, for some reason, I was not able to get to my gun in the first place, my confidence wanes.

And as someone in the gun community I see it over and over again and I get frustrated for other people who haven't gotten frustrated for themselves yet.

The newcomer asks the question on where to begin and the regurgitated answer is always, "Well, first, go apply for your permit and go get yourself some good gun training." It's like telling your pre-schooler, "Well, first you need to go to high school and then you can go to college." Yes, it's great advice, but there's a whole lot missing before that.

So, what is missing? Is it just hand-to-hand training?

No!

And to be honest with you, I have no idea what all is missing. I'm trying to figure that out, too. I'm open to suggestions.

For one, mindset is desperately missing. The mindset to think, to use common sense, to out-smart instead of just out-shoot. Your options are not limited to shoot or don't shoot.

For another thing, emotional control is missing. I've said it before; emotional responses seem to be in vogue right now. It can be hard not to be emotional in some instances (if not impossible) but it's something to at least acknowledge and attempt to control. As the saying goes, "cooler heads prevail."
Strength and stamina are missing. And, yes, I'm looking squarely in the mirror as I type this. Americans in general are sorely out of shape, weak and diseased with their own poor health choices (myself included). If you're going to be serious about your safety, it only makes sense that you would be serious about your health and be able to at least last as long as or longer than your opponent if forced to go toe-to-toe with him. I can't even go the grocery store and back with two kids without feeling EXHAUSTED!!

Knowledge, skill and understanding of other tools such as knives, medical aid and the like is also missing.

I'm going to be starting Krav Maga this month and I'm excited to be fleshing out that area of my training. I'm hoping and expecting that it will help build my confidence in non-gun-related defense.

We'll see.

Kids & Guns, Securing Tools On Body In An Overactive Environment

Nothing in this world will challenge the concealability and comfort of defensive tools quite like play dates.

I'm the mother of a two-year-old. There are lots of play dates in my week. Several times a week my son and I meet up with mothers, fathers, newborns, toddlers and preschoolers for hours of unrehearsed, unplanned mayhem. You may be called upon to breakup a toddler boxing ring, retrieve spit up cheerios from under a bench, leap to your death after a thrown sippy cup or just be voluntold to lose a spontaneous game of, "No, you're supposed to let me win!" And you must do it all while being safe and keeping your gun concealed.

I refuse to carry off-body around kids; at least not without completely and totally disabling the firearm, locking it up, burying it and pouring cement down the barrel. Such innocent and curious lives should never be cut short because of irresponsibility of gun owners and no other environment is as ripe for firearms' accidents as a play date or nursery. Ten minutes with toddlers and preschoolers and any bag, purse, briefcase and sack is thoroughly examined with a "WHAT'S THAT?!?" Even if your kid is oober smart and cool and knows not to touch firearms it doesn't mean Billy has been trained the same way or that your kid won't get the stupids and decide to play show-and-tell.

I firmly believe that the best way to keep kids safe from your firearm in such an environment is to keep CONSTANT, discreet control of your firearm and that means keeping it on body and under deep concealment. Something new and unusual tends to make little, indiscreet minds lock on and alert the entire area to such a discovery with yet another, "WHAT'S THAT?!?" And a gun on a Momma's (or Daddy's) hip is certainly unusual when it comes to play dates.

Being armed should not make someone afraid of playing (and I do mean REALLY PLAYING) with their children. Today I got roped into balloon volleyball with five kids and three balloons, all of them against me. I was diving over couches, rolling on the floor, colliding with four-year-olds and tripping over two-year-olds. I was carrying a fully-loaded Glock 19, a Ka-Bar LDK and my Gerber Crucial while doing it, too. Which brings me to some finer points of carrying around children.

1. Make sure your gear is tough and capable. The last thing you want to do is dive for that third balloon, land wrong and find your gun has spilled out onto the floor in the midst of five children with their mothers looking on. Having a holster that you know you can roll around the floor with and not have it give up your gun or your concealment should be a top priority.

2. Make sure your holster completely covers the trigger guard and holds your gun close to the body. Preschools are nosy. If they see or feel the slightest bulge they will grab and pull and poke at your gun while screaming, "What's under your shirt?!?" If you don't think so I guarantee you haven't spent five minutes with any child under the age of five. Not to mention you may have to pick up a screaming kid or have another mother ask you to hold her newborn while she goes to wipe puke off her blouse. You do not want anyone to find your gun by matter of just simply feeling it or seeing it. You also don't want to entertain the thought that small fingers or toes or toys could get inside the trigger guard of your gun.

3. Long sweaters/vests (preferably with a button or zipper) are your friend, especially when you are playing balloon volleyball with five kids and three balloons. Keep that thing hidden!

4. Don't make a big deal about adjusting and covering your firearm if it does get exposed. In short, if you do fall head-first over a couch while diving for a balloon and get up finding that your sweater is completely tucked BEHIND your gun, keep a big ol' smile on your face, throw the balloon with one hand while you cover your gun and move on as though nothing happened. Distraction works well with most kids if they do see something.

5. Wear colors that closely match the color of your gun and holster. This is not the time to try out that new custom holster with the beautifully etched American flag in full color on it. If you have a black gun and a black holster wear dark jeans and a black shirt and dark cover garment. If you do accidentally have a concealment slip you are already camouflaged and almost no one is likely to see.

6. Be smart. Don't take your gun off and put it anywhere. Don't fiddle with it. Don't leave it some place where it can be accessed by kids (like the diaper bag or purse or under a coat). You are far more likely to have an accident with a firearm in that kind of an environment than you are to actually need your gun in self-defense. If there's a question about safety then err on the side of caution and leave you gun in a safe location (your locked car, for instance) for the duration of the activity.

7. Have fun! Play dates and kid groups are about letting your child socialize and taking you away from all of the distractions so that you can have fun with your child as he has fun with his friends. If you can't have fun with your kid while being armed then leave the damned thing at home or keep training until you can comfortably (and safely) carry your gun in such an environment. Dare I say it, but your relationship with your kid is more important than the one-in-a-million chance you might get into a shootout at your kids play date. Yes, I know you want to be able to protect you child (I do, too) but you also need to be a parent. Don't let a gun get in the way of spending quality time with your kids.

Be safe, be smart. Protect yourself and your child.