Situational Awareness With Children

There's a funny advertisement about how children are time thieves and parents are willing victims. It's a humorous ad that rings with quite a bit of truth. In addition to time, children als
o steal attention, energy, patience, and maybe a little sanity.

Situational awareness has been a hot topic on my facebook page of late. My goal has been to better represent its purpose and limitations. While talking about situational awareness a mother asked whether or not situational awareness was possible with children in tow.

My two oldest being goofballs

My answer, I presume, was not much help to her.

I said, "Yes. No. Maybe."

I promised to clarify and herein is that clarification.

In order to answer the question more thoroughly we must define what situational awareness is. At its core, it is a skill. Like any skill, it must be practiced.

Some people are born gifted with situational awareness, most are not. Training can be acquired to help people interpret what they are seeing and what to do with that data. Like any other skill, however, practice falls to the individual attempting to be more aware of their surroundings.

Can you be situationally aware with children?

Maybe.

That depends a lot on the person attempting to be aware--in this case, the parent.

What kind of situational awareness did that parent have before they had children? Were they the type to walk down stairs or into water fountains or did they have a sense of their surroundings and what was going on? What was the focus of their situational awareness?

People interested in self defense tend to look at their surroundings in a far more critical light of potential danger from violent crime and other environmental hazards.

It makes sense that people are are already alert and aware are easier to guide toward defensive situational awareness. On the other hand, there are the No people who couldn't tell you the color of the car they drive to work every day. They might have a little further to go and must first practice awareness in general before it can be directed to any one area such as self defense. They may be completely overwhelmed when asked to be aware while also caring for a child.

Take an aware individual, train them what to look for and give them children and I say, Yes! They absolutely can be aware with children--although there may be an adjustment period.

Children, especially really little ones, suck attention as easily as they suck milk. If they aren't demanding it with screams to be fed, changed, burped or held we are giving it to them willingly while we lovingly watch them sleep, smile, coo and play. It is easy (or should be easy) to allow your child to get 100% of your attention. A parent (in my opinion) should specifically structure times when they purposefully give their children 100% of their attention. In general, however, that time and place should be of the parents time and choosing as to make sure it is appropriate and you are secure.

One cannot simply kneel down in the middle of the street and give their child 100% attention to look at the pretty penny on the ground when a truck is barreling down on them. It may also not be wise to gaze playfully at your child at the park while overlooking the strange individual stalking you or to put your full attention into your child's temper tantrum and miss exit signs and safe havens for emergency situations like fire and weather.

Before you give your child all of your attention ask yourself these questions:

1. Are we reasonably safe?
2. Who is near me?
3. How do we get out of here?

In the example I gave above, the middle of the street is not a safe place to stop and talk about the joys of copper. Another example might be going to the park. It may be a safe place provided it is well maintained but you may take a moment to mentally catalog the individuals there, who they are with and what they are doing. Other parents with children are to be expected. Make note of people who aren't accompanied by children (male or female). Note any and all escape routes (particularly unconventional ones) and take moments to periodically update that information.

There are times and places where it's far easier to give your child your full, undivided attention because you have far more control of the place and time. At home where the location can be secured, you intimately know the individuals in that location and you have already devised a fairly unchanging escape plan is one of the best places to exchange quality attention time with your kids.

Do you have any situational awareness to speak of? If not, now's the time to start practicing. It's impossible to have perfect situational awareness at all times, so don't get frustrated when you find yourself struggling. There will also be times when your kids will steal your attention unexpectedly. That's okay. Keep working at it.

If you're already situationally aware but not sure how to incorporate your kids, here are some tips that might help:

• Think of yourself as your child's bodyguard. 

Hired bodyguards don't spend a whole lot of time looking at the person they are guarding because the threat doesn't come from that individual. The threat comes from around you. Be looking around you.

• When your child is demanding your attention, decide if it's an emergency or something that can wait until you are in a better location.

A child who has fallen and broken his arm is having an emergency. He needs to be dealt with. A child who is screaming because you aren't allowing him to have a candy bar can be dealt with somewhere else (even if you have to drag him there).

• If you can't look at your children, touch them or have them touch you.

Hold hands. If you only have two hands and more than three children or want a hand or both hands free have your children hold your bag, the stroller, a cart or your clothes.

• Incorporate your children into your awareness.

Play awareness games like ISpy. Have the older children tell you everything they see behind you while you strap the younger ones into seats or load groceries. Make games out of finding all of the exit signs, fire extinguishers and AEDs. Ask them to count how many people are in the room or cars in a parking lot. Ask them where they might hide if there was a bad guy, etc.

• Trust your child's instincts and teach your children to trust them as well. 

When your child shies away from an individual or tells you they don't like a certain circumstance, as much as possible, err on the side of following the child's lead. They have a strong sense about people.

• Make yourself known.

If you live in or frequent the same areas and see the same people over and over again introduce yourself and your children. If there's an emergency they can be helpful in reconnecting you with your children or feel more comfortable alerting you to strange things happening. They will also be able to better identify strangers around your children.

• Know your children and plan for their needs.

I have a 5 month-old a 2 year-old and a 5 year-old. My youngest is not mobile. If I want him to move I have to move him or give him to someone who can move him for me. My little girl is independent and opinionated but still requires contact with her mom or dad in public to feel safe. She will not run away from me or her father if she feels threatened. I will need to carry her with me, give her to someone who can carry her or leave her to draw attention away from her if need be. My oldest is able to understand the concepts of danger. If given specific commands I trust him to be able to run, hide or escape on command. As my children get older their roles in their own defense and that of their siblings may change. Determining their levels of understanding and response takes constant evaluation on my part in addition to mock drills. Your child may be old enough to understand making emergency calls or be trusted with getting his or her siblings to safety or they might be handicapped and need more assistance. Take those things into account and plan for them.

• Strategically place yourself.

Sit where you can see entrances and exits. Sit closer to exits (particularly ones that are not also entrances). Park where you have the best views of both the store and blind spots.

• Be mindful of what you carry.

Parents (especially parents with kids still in diapers) tend to carry a lot of stuff. As much as possible, try to limit what you carry with you to limit what you are needing to juggle in a time of need or what might potentially attract the attention of someone looking to victimize you.

• Be aware that the best response may mean leaving or drawing attention away from your children.

Depending on the type of emergency of violence coming against you it is important to note that the safest place for your child might not be with you. In order to increase their chance of survival you might have to give them to a stranger or push them away while you draw violence toward yourself and away from them. Start thinking of scenarios where leaving your children might be the best option for their survival and when it might not.

• Decide if your exit plan will accommodate strollers and baby carriers.

When you enter a building, immediately start thinking about how you and your children might make a hasty exit and whether or not you will be able to do that with the gear you may have brought in. If you have three children or more it might be easier to pile them all on a stroller and run them out. On the other hand, if you need to escape through a narrow or unconventional place that a stroller won't fit through you might have to ditch the stroller. It may mean pushing them so far and carrying the rest of the way, but consider circumstances where you might have to ditch the baby gear.

Situational awareness with children is possible if you can build off of existing awareness and tailor it to fit your needs as a family.

How might you increase awareness while out and about with your children?

A special thank you to Kathy Jackson for all her good advice over the years.

Realities and Legalities of Child Snatching: Part 3

Note: Throughout this blog I refer to some legal code and legal issues. All codes quoted are for the state of Iowa. Check for differences in your own state code. I am not a lawyer and all opinions are from a layman's perspective.

In Part One, we discussed the legalities of determining whether or not your could reasonably use lethal force against someone who snatched your child from you, what kidnapping is and what it is not.

In Part Two, we discussed using less-than-lethal force against someone holding your child, whether or not it is necessary and the types of force one can employ.

In this segment we are going to discuss using lethal force against someone holding your child and the realities of what that might entail if it is, indeed, necessary.

PART THREE: LETHAL FORCE AGAINST SOMEONE HOLDING YOUR CHILD

The scenario we opened with in the beginning of this series was a woman who snatches a child from a mother who is attempting to put the child into a carrier. The woman believes the carry method is unsafe and holds the child, neither threatening the child nor the mother but does not return the child to the parent.

In Part One and Two the woman doing the snatching never implied any harm to the child or the parent.

In this segment we are going to take all ambiguity out of it and up the stakes.

The child is snatched, the woman refused to return the child and has produced a weapon and stated she intends to do the child harm and lethal force is justified.

I know many parents who have stated they would rather have their child die in front of them from a bullet they fired than have their child taken, tortured, molested or assaulted and never found or found mutilated days, months or years later. I'm inclined to agree but I think every one of us would do our best to minimize the chances of that happening. The problem is that not many parents know how to minimize those risks. Without the proper information, training and practice their skills set them up for potentially killing the very person they are trying desperately to defend.

First, let's talk about guns. For the sake of brevity I'm going to assume you are armed, your firearm is in good working order and accessible. I'm also going to assume that you can access this firearm without having to neutralize an attack first. You are set to take the shot.

1. Shooting The Hostage Taker (Distance Shots)
Deciding when to shoot is the question of the ages. There is a delicate balance of timing, distance, threat and more and when you put a child--YOUR child--between yourself and the bad guy you are upping the stakes considerably, especially if your child is being threatened with death or serious bodily harm, or worse, in the process of being harmed.

I have done lots of hostage-taker shooting, both with actual hostage targets in shoot houses and in IDPA-type matches where no-shoot targets are overlaid on hostile targets. The most challenging (and dare I say, realistic) are when either the no-shoot or the hostile targets also move.

It's not easy.

As accurate as a bullet has potential to be, it is only as accurate as you are and I have seen MANY bullet holes in hostages or no-shoot targets. I have put some of them there.

Finding little data for civilians shooting hostage-takers, I asked a trainer friend of mine who routinely puts concealed carry pistol students through live-fire shoot houses with a variety of hostage targets if he would estimate how many of the students shoot the hostage and this was his response:

"I'd guess 50%. Others miss everything. Others make a very poor shot on bad guy and very very few actually make a stopping hit on bad guy. I've learned. Never be a hostage...."

Keep in mind. Most of these targets do not move. They are static targets and the hostage is hit as often as 50% of the time. Now imagine that hostage is your child.

For individuals advocating "just shooting" the man (or woman) who took your child. Could you reasonably expect to hit the bad guy vs your own child? What practice or training have you done to make you more confident in your abilities? If the individual is running with your child do you know if you need to lead the target or how to lead the target and at what distances you would need to increase that lead with your particular caliber or gun? Can you do that under duress? When's the last time you practiced such skills?

Sometimes a distance shot is the only option. Can you physically make that shot? What if you could attempt a contact shot?

2. Shooting The Hostage Taker (Contact Distance)
I like contact shots and in a hostage situation involving my child where there was clear intent to do my child harm or to kill him I would hope for the opportunity to make a contact shot vs a distance shot.

Why? Because there's less chance of my child being hit or injured and I might even be able to take temporary control of my child in order to make a better shot.

One of the many parts of the Partner Tactics class I attended that was enlightening to me (and again in Extreme Close Quarters) was the concepts of "Partner Rescue." Or, in this case, child-hostage rescue.

In order to understand how dangerous it is to shoot at two people--one of which you have a vested interest is NOT injuring--you must understand that shooting a gun is not instantaneous. It's fast, but many times it's not fast enough.

In the time between deciding to shoot and the bullet impacting the intended target, your intended target could very well have moved or been moved. This is why follow-through is so important to accurate shooting and why moving individuals who you don't intend to shoot get shot.

How do you keep that from happening?

You need to buy yourself time through control.

In other words, you need to get yourself into the mix.

For an adult partner we practiced doing this by grabbing onto your partner and moving with him or her, finding a free space on the attacker that would ideally be incapacitating (more on that later), contacting it with the muzzle of the firearm, finding an angle that will not allow any pass-through bullets to hit one's self or the partner, backing off the muzzle so that it was not forced out of battery (in the case of a semi-auto) and taking the shot.

Yes, it's a lot. It may mean getting beat up a bit as the three of you wrestle around and sometimes there are no perfect angles. But it beats the heck out of trying to make a distance shot on a moving target with your child in arms even if that distance is mere feet.

For a child, I would ideally find a way to wrap my arm around the child and pull him or her to myself or myself into him and the individual holding him. If possible I might even try to tear the child away from the individual holding him or her. Might I injure the child in the process? Yes. But I'd rather a broken or twisted arm than a bullet hole. This might change if the child is an infant and violent movement could result in coup-countercoup (whiplash) or similar injuries. The rest of the steps would be identical.

The only potential good thing about shooting an adult holding a child is that children are very small shields. You may have more available targeting areas and less worry about pass through striking the child. A grown adult male holding an infant leaves most of his head, abdomen and lower extremities completely exposed.

3. Targeting
When it comes to shooting someone who is threatening the life or limb of your child, dare I say there is no "bad" shot but there are better shots.

Bones of the Skull

Many people like head shots and for good reason. There's a lot of really vital stuff up there and a good head shot gives you a pretty good chance of complete incapacitation vs something like an abdomen or extremity shot where the fight can continue for even extended periods of time.

But even head shots are not guaranteed show stoppers. Heads are exceptionally well fortified with bone. Bullets have been known to bounce off or fail to penetrate said bone, particularly the frontal, jaw (mandible), occipital and parietal bones. Some ricochets have even been fatal to those nearby. You certainly wouldn't want your ricocheted head shot to be the thing that killed your child. 

Though the facial bones and the side bones (the temporal and sphenoid) are not as thick or strong they still provide plenty of opportunity for deflection. Good head shots are considered shots within the inverted triangle of the tip of the nose to the brow-line.

Greg Ellifritz wrote a very good and short write up on head shots and within that article and his Extreme Close Quarters class he advocates that if the head is available to shoot, usually the neck is also available. There's a lot of very vital stuff in the neck (airway, nerves, major blood vessels and cervical spine) that can lead to incapacitation very quickly. It's also a decent opening to the thoracic cavity if you if you shoot down from the clavicle towards the heart and lungs.

If the head and neck are not available, the thoracic cavity containing the lungs and heart is another good target. It's large and not as well protected as the head. It also contains two of the most vital structures to life (the lungs and heart). Be aware that even direct hits to the heart and lungs do not always produce immediate stops.

The lesser vital organs of the body are tucked into the lower abdomen. Though they are not considered optimal targets they will do.

The pelvis is very vascular. That is to say it has a lot of major blood vessels running through it. There are also some major structures there that, if damaged, could make it impossible for an attacker to continue standing or use one or both legs.

Finally, extremity (arm and leg) shots are considered least ideal but, again, I would not hesitate to take the shot if it was the only one I could reasonably get while in extreme close quarters with an attacker and fighting for mine and my child's lives.

This is all being mindful of trajectory should the bullet pass through the intended target. If the bullet followed a straight path (sometimes it doesn't) would it exit the bad guy and enter your child or a part of you?

4. Knives and Other Lethal Tools
Some people prefer knives or other lethal tools in extreme close quarters if their state will allow them to carry them. Sometimes, if in a state that does not allow firearm carry a knife or other tool may be all that is available. Do you know how to target with a knife? Do you have any training in using a knife to incapacitate? What would you do to ensure you did not cut your child? If using another object as a lethal object such as a baton, are you confident you could hit the attacker and not your child? Are there be less optimal targeting areas with less risk to your child?

Now I'm going to add a few more monkeys to the pile. What if the attacker is holding a gun or knife to your child? What are you going to do? Is it possible to make a fight-stopping shot before he can pull the trigger or stab your child? If you are able to close distance and make contact, how are you going to ensure you and/or your child don't get shot or cut in the process? What is your priority, getting to his weapon or getting to your own weapon?


5. Injuries
Finally, what if your child is injured? Can you treat him or her?

When the body is injured it begins to compensate for the injury as long as can. When the body can no longer compensate for the injury it goes into a state of decompensation, the end of which is often death. Children decompensate faster than adults. Their bodies cannot sustain a compensated state as long. They have less blood volume to lose and their lungs often give out faster than an adult's.

Are you certified in child CPR? Can you stop a hemorrhage in your own child? What do you have on hand to aid you toward that end? If you have purchased a commercial trauma kit will all of the tools within fit a child? What about an infant? Do you know how to improvise things like tourniquets and pressure bandages if the items won't fit your child?

Don't be seduced by the idea that there are simple or easy answers to these questions or that you could "just shoot" someone holding your child. Imagine with me, if you will, the life-time of regret that may come from accidentally killing your child over a less-than-lethal situation or a poorly executed shot or act.

Don't let your passion for your loved one get them killed by your own lack of knowledge, training or skill--or worse, by your own delusion that such a situation is easy (legally, tactically, emotionally or physically).

Part One: Is It Legal
Part Two: Force Against Someone Holding Your Child

Realities and Legalities of Child Snatching: Part Two

Note: Throughout this blog I refer to some legal code and legal issues. All codes quoted are for the state of Iowa. Check for differences in your own state code. I am not a lawyer and all opinions are from a layman's perspective.

In Part One, we discussed the legalities of determining whether or not your could reasonably use lethal force against someone who snatched your child from you.

We discussed when someone snatching your child is kidnapping and when it is not per Iowa state law (I strongly recommend that parents look up the definitions of kidnapping in their own state).

In this segment we're going to discuss using less-than-lethal force against someone holding your child and, in Part 3 we will discuss using lethal force.

The scenario we started with in Part One was a woman snatching a child from a mother and not returning the child to the mother but neither fleeing the scene or showing intent to harm the child.

The goal is to get the child back unharmed and quickly. What level of force do we need to use to accomplish that goal? Do we even need force at all? Do not underestimate the power of a broad smile and a feigned, "Thanks for the suggestion," while you take your baby back.

Use your Verbal Judo. Understand deescalation and ways to calm yourself and other individuals and manipulate them into doing what you want.

Also, do not underestimate the power of drawing attention to the scene. A woman yelling, "She took my baby. Call the police! That woman has my baby," can be quite effective in making the snatcher with no ill-intent return the child for fear he or she will be perceived as a child-abductor. If you choose this method enlist the help of specific individuals on scene. Speaking in generalities to a crowd (if there is a crowd) tends to bring attention but little action. Find one or two specific people you can single out and command their action. "Ma'am!," (point to a specific woman) "Call the police. That woman took my baby. ... Sir!" (again, make it specific) " Help me! That woman has my baby." You are far more likely to get responses out of onlookers.

You don't always have to make it escalate to force if it doesn't have to go there.

But, because this is a blog about force, let's discuss it.

PART TWO: FORCE AGAINST SOMEONE HOLDING YOUR CHILD

Many people who consider using force against someone holding a loved one do so with little consideration to the fact that the loved one is an intricate part of confrontation.

Even considering hitting, pushing or use of other levels of force means the possibility that the child might also be injured. The age of the child may have a large affect on how much collateral damage the child can take. A newborn who is dropped because you hit or startled the individual holding him can suffer brain damage and more. A toddler might be able to take more but what levels of force are you willing to involve your children in at what age?

What level of force are you comfortable using and how would you use it to minimize damage to your child? What training do you have to make your force effective and targeted that might spare your child involvement? At what point would the potential for damage by your hand be worth the risk of death or greater bodily harm by the perpetrator?

There are several levels of force. From least amount to most:

• Presence
• Commanding voice
• Threat of force 
• Calling the police
• A threat to injure, wound or kill
• Brandishing a weapon 
• Physical Force
• Pushing, hitting, the use of less-than-lethal tools
• Lethal Force
• The use of open hands to maim or kill (eye gouges and choke holds), knives, batons, guns or the use of any other tool in a manner that can cause serious bodily injury or death.

Presence and Commanding Voice
Many people underestimate presence and a commanding voice. People who actually study inter-human relations based on posture, presence and voice have proven that individuals who act authoritative often receive the respect and deference their presence suggests. This includes confident posturing such as holding the head up, chest broad, hands on hips and feet planted and apart.

This combined with an authoritative voice (low, loud, and demanding) can often result in commands being met.

Men may not have as much difficulty adopting a commanding presence, especially around women who are smaller than they are. A man commanding a woman to give his child back in an authoritative manner would likely have the child immediately returned to him.

Women can find it more difficult to be authoritative due to our small statures and frame or cultural upbringing. Some women mistake volume for pitch and instead of sounding low and loud they sound high-pitched which can sound more panicked instead of commanding.

Many do not consider practicing a commanding, confident presence part of self defense training, however, that skill can end a conflict or even deter one from choosing you as a victim in the first place. Practice authoritative posturing and a commanding voice. Practice it in social environments (getting everyone's attention at a gathering, teaching a class, etc).

Threat of Force
If the simple command of returning my child did not work I would immediately call authorities. It is still a level of threat of force that does not pose any risk to myself and it establishes that the situation has gotten quite serious.

Be aware that the threat of harm can be assault if it is not justified. Also be aware that your threat of force could cause the individual to escalate into threatening harm to your child.

Physical Force
From here out the level of force you choose to use will depend on more factors than we could possibly discuss. Here are some things to consider.

In the scenario, the individual who snatched the child was a woman. Would your level of force be different if it was a man? How old is she or he? Are you comfortable threatening further force realizing that this may escalate the situation or would it be better to wait for authorities provided he or she continues to remain on scene and the implied intent has not changed?

If you choose to escalate are you considering the harm you might be putting your child in? Is your priority to get your child out of the situation or to fight? Have you considered, if you are armed, that if your weapon is discovered in the altercation the snatcher might try to go for it while in the midst of a fight? What would you do do defend both your gun and your child? Has there been any change in implied intent that makes you believe you need to act sooner rather than waiting for authorities? What level of force are you competently trained in? Could you go hands on with a woman or a man? Do you carry a less-than-lethal tool you might be able to use?

If your child is injured, how would you assess and/or treat him or her?

The suggestion of pepper spray was brought up in discussing the opening scenario on Facebook and this was a response that was given:



Consideration is being made for the child being exposed to pepper spray but no consideration is being put into the damage that could be done if the child was hit with a bullet. There's also little consideration going on as to the jump in force from non-lethal to lethal. The assumption seems to be that if you are justified in pepper spraying you are justified in shooting. This is simply not true.

I, for one, would GREATLY prefer washing pepper spray out of my child's face than trying to treat him or her for a gunshot wound. I would do anything I could to avoid bringing a gun into a situation involving my child (or any situation for that matter) and would not hesitate to use a less-than-lethal option if I reasonably believed it would be effective and minimize the potential for harm to my child.

Sometimes there is no time to consider less-than-lethal options or to attempt deescalation or verbal judo. The situation is immediate and dire. Action is demanded. But if you have time to consider your options you likely have time to deescalate or use a lesser form of force. If you choose to use force you must be competent in that use of force and decide its appropriateness in the given situation.

Part One: Is It Legal
Part Three: Lethal Force Against Someone Holding Your Child

Realities and Legalities of Child Snatching: Part One

Note: Throughout this blog I refer to some legal code and legal issues. All codes quoted are for the state of Iowa. Check for differences in your own state code. I am not a lawyer and all opinions are from a layman's perspective.

A scenario came up a few days ago that reminded me of a blog I wrote a few months ago titled: Will Your Passion For Your Loved One Save Them? If you haven't read it already feel free to click over and read. In a very small nutshell the blog is about people (particularly parents) who believe their passion for their loved one or child will provide them with needed skill they haven't learned or practiced.

In this extension of that blog we will talk about a very specific aspect of parental passion and terror: possible kidnappings and/or a potential hostage situation.

The scenario was presented to me on an armed motherhood Facebook page I sometimes pop into. A mother is putting her baby on her back in a baby carrier when another woman, thinking the practice dangerous, grabs the child from the carrier and begins to lecture the mother on safety, refusing to give the child back.

Nothing incites terror in a parent quite like the idea of a stranger snatching their child. Nothing. And it's understandable that a bunch of armed mothers, when presented with said scenario, would consider preparing to pull a gun on such an individual. Several mothers either said they would draw or at least prepare to draw their firearms. Some even admitted that they would outright shoot.


PART ONE: IS IT LEGAL?

Before we even get into the practicality of shooting someone who is holding your child I think we should talk about the legality. And, as a reminder, I'm no lawyer. The bottom line is that no matter how angry it makes you, someone snatching your child may not be immediate justification for lethal force. One must be able to point out what made him (or her) believe his child was in jeopardy of serious bodily harm or death before lethal force can be used.

I can't think of a single state that does not allow force (up to and including lethal force) to be used to stop a forcible felony (which is what kidnapping is). However, one has to define kidnapping and reasonably believe that such a crime is taking place. Is this kidnapping? Can a woman who snatches a child out of her own concern for the child's well-being, who neither flees the scene nor threatens the child or the parent be reasonably believed to warrant the use of deadly force?

The scenario has a lot of potential to progress many different ways but as the scenario stands is there a legitimate threat to the child's life or limb?

The fact that there could be serious question as to whether or not a crime warranting lethal force is actually being committed should make parents think very carefully about their actions in such a scenario.

There were three main self-defense principles that came to mind when I read the above scenario:

1. AOJP
AOJP stands for Ability, Opportunity, Jeopardy and Preclusion. The AOJP must be satisfied in order to justify use of lethal force in self defense (including self defense of another).
A = Does the attacker have the ability to do serious bodily harm or kill the child? Using the scenario above, if we assume the woman is a healthy adult then yes. She likely has ability. 
O = Does the attacker have the opportunity to do serious bodily harm or kill the child? Yes.
J = Is the child in jeopardy or serious bodily harm or death? Let's be honest here, this is a big unknown. Again, arguments could be made with all sorts of speculation but with nothing but the information we have to go on I'm inclined to say no (at this time).
P = Preclusion. Is there anything else that can be done besides lethal force? Or, in other words, is it absolutely necessary to use lethal force in this situation? Again, with the information given, I would have to say no. There are lots of less than lethal options at this point.

2. Intent
Intent is rarely brought up and heavily debated as to where it stands in the use of force continuum. Many proclaim you can never know another individual's intent. And even if one was to state his (or her) intent, how is one to know he is telling the truth?

When intent is clearly stated (especially when there are witnesses) it should not be (and usually isn't) ignored.

Behavior often immediately backs up stated intent or is considered "implied" intent. If the man who said he had a grenade and was going to blow himself up suddenly does fly to pieces, it's safe to say he correctly stated his intent. If an EMT says he's on scene to help and immediately starts to stabilize the C-spine, checks for breathing and pulse, it's safe to say he has correctly stated his intent. But if nothing is said the actions of violence or assisting imply an individual's intent.

In the case of the scenario above, intent is not exactly clearly stated but the woman's actions do not imply harm.

My husband and I had an interesting debate while picking through Iowa code where he plead the case of the parent and I plead the case of the woman doing the snatching. We looked at what, if anything, the woman could be charged with (in Iowa) for snatching the child and the level of force a parent could use in response that would be reasonable and lawful. Let's just say I would hate to be a lawyer, judge and/or jury in that case.

Kidnapping in our state means taking someone with the intent to do harm.

Snatching a child from a parent or legal guardian for the purpose of detaining a child but with no intent to harm by Iowa law is called "Child Stealing" and it's a felony. Not a forcible felony (such as kidnapping), but still a crime. And the witness pool (if there are witnesses) could be split on who they empathize with--a woman's ill-attempt to help a child or a mother.

In the end we both agreed that some sort of physical response could be justified. However, we could not find justification in our own minds for bringing a lethal weapon into the equation for a woman snatching our child and arguing without demonstrating intent to do harm or without being able to articulate why we believed our child was in danger of serious bodily harm or death.

Which brings me to my third point:

3. The Reasonable Man Doctrine (and the principles of reasonable force)
In a nut shell, you have to prove, in a court of law that the actions you took were reasonable given the circumstances and information you had at the time of the incident and that any other reasonable individual would do the same thing if he were in your shoes. Then the jury has to reasonably weigh that evidence and decide whether or not they believe you acted reasonably.

Per Iowa code, reasonable force is defined as follows (look up your own state codes and see if they differ):

"Reasonable force" is that force and no more which a reasonable person, in like circumstances, would judge to be necessary to prevent an injury or loss and can include deadly force if it is reasonable to believe that such force is necessary to avoid injury or risk to one's life or safety or the life or safety of another, or it is reasonable to believe that such force is necessary to resist a like force or threat.

Would pulling a gun be considered reasonable in this case with the information given? What do you think?

And how would you articulate to responding officers, a lawyer, a judge or a jury why you chose that particular course of action?

In this case, I'm inclined to think it would not be reasonable (yet) and I would defer back to the excellent advice or Rory Miller:

"It is better to avoid than to run; better to run than to de-escalate; better to de-escalate than to fight; better to fight than to die. The very essence of self-defense is a thin list of things that might get you out alive when you are already screwed."

Would I grab my child back? Try to deescalate? Use threat of force (calling the police included)? Pepper spray? The options available before getting to the gun are as vast as the imagination. As long as the woman was not attempting to leave the scene or demonstrating intent to harm, I'm inclined to try many different things before going to lethal force or even the threat of lethal force.


Part 2: Force Against Someone Holding Your Child
Part 3: Lethal Force Against Someone Holding Your Child

"Can't" And All The Lies It Tells

"I can't...."

One of the most self-defeating phrases in the English language. Probably also one of the first learned and most often spoken as well.

And if people aren't proclaiming their own self-made limitations they are busy projecting them on others.

"You can't...."

We know that "can't" is lie. Still we claim it as truth in our own lives and force it on others with a ferocity that can range from benign to flat-out criminal.

Time and time again we've seen the lie that is "can't" be exposed for the facade it is...

You can't travel faster than the speed of sound. 

You can't travel outside of earth's atmosphere.

You can't run a mile faster than four minutes.

Even though we know, now, that given the right time, about of knowledge, skill, tools and motivation darned near anything is possible, people insist on limiting so much...

I can't be happy.

I can't find love.

I can't get that promotion. 

I can't get cancer.

I can't be in an abusive relationship.

I can't watch my family be murdered before my eyes.

That took a dark turn, didn't it?

The act of throwing up a middle finger to "can't" and telling it to copulate with itself is not limited to the positive things we want in life.

"Can't" is as much of a lie when you are denying an ugly reality as it is when you are denying a positive opportunity.

And yet, I see this type of "can't" being propagated in the self defense community. I see if every day in the comments I read on Facebook and YouTube and blog posts all over the internet.

"You can't let him get that close to you."

"You can't let it get that far."

"You can't let someone pull a knife on you."

I've got some really bad news for you: YOU FUCKING CAN!

You may not want to. You may do everything to avoid it. But it can happen. And it can happen to YOU!

And now that it has happened, what are you going to do about it?

Some people respond, having seen you work your hardest to prepare for those worst-case scenarios, by throwing in an extra bushel of "can't" for your dying pleasure.

"You can't get out of that hold."  

"You can't hold, draw, shoot, load, etc your gun like that."

"You can't defend against that."

"You can't work that technique."

"You can't survive that."

Well, I'm certainly going to try!

I prepare for the worst-case. I don't believe that carrying a gun and a pocket knife renders me perfectly prepared to combat any foe. I don't live in a fantasy world that makes me believe I can't be taken by surprise or ambushed. I don't believe I can keep every bad person out there at a twenty-one foot distance from me. I don't believe I will be able to perfectly perform every defensive technique I've ever learned at any given time. I'm preparing for the possibility that I might panic, freeze, forget, be sick, distracted, exhausted, afraid but so damned trained I will at least do SOMETHING to the best of my ability to survive.

I've experienced some of the ugliest truth of what CAN happen to me and I've lived through it all to the end that I work my ass off to be as prepared as I can be should I have to face it again.

I share what I do with others so that I might be able to track my progress, be inspired and motivated by those more prepared than me and maybe inspire others to abandon the lies of "can't" in their own lives for both the good and the bad.

Some use that openness on my part as a chisel to try to break apart my own efforts and training. They try to tell me what I'm doing isn't effective or won't work or isn't good enough. They may be right. They may be wrong. But one thing I know to be a fact is that I'm out there doing the work. I'm learning. I'm putting forth the effort. I do what I can do in a way that won't cripple myself or those I train with. Sometimes I do well. Sometimes I get my ass kicked. But always I am learning and working to be that much better, quicker, and fiercer than anyone who might try to harm me. I may never be bigger or stronger but I believe I can train until I can outsmart, outmaneuver or just plain outbluff or outluck someone who thinks they can harm me or mine. 

And so I ask... What the hell are you doing?

If you're out there working beside me and doing what you can do in the limits of your own time, money and life, then bravo! We're on this road together.

So many are still hiding behind the mask of, "That can't happen to me." And not all of them are anti-gun idealists either. Some carry guns and hold on to them like magic talismans disbelieving that anyone could get through their "situational awareness." Their eyes are blinded to the dark possibilities of the world. They stand proud and secure in their own illusion of what can't possibly happen but does every day. And still others look at people like me and find nothing better to do than project more negativity because, surely, the little woman can't beat the big guy.

Shit happens. It can happen to you. The bad guy can get to you. And sometimes the little gal can win.

Appendix-Inside The Waistband Carry: Practical vs Hype

I've been in the firearms community for well over six years. While appendix carry (the practice of carrying a firearm inside the waistband, forward of the hip bones) was around back then I couldn't give you the name of a single person I knew who carried that way. Then, again, perhaps my circle of gun-totting friends was a lot smaller back then.

Today, appendix carry (or AIWB) has risen in popularity and gained quite a foothold with many long-time shooters and trainers. The last two trainings I've attended had several AIWB shooters in them, my husband carries AIWB and several of the well-known instructors I have been following over the years carry AIWB.

AIWB is not a new method of carry by any means. For as long as people have been carrying guns they have been sticking them down the front of their pants. Hand a dummy gun to someone who's never carried a gun before in his or her life, tell them to hide it on their person and a good majority of the time you will see them attempt to AIWB carry it. It's even the preferred method of your average bad guy (sans the holster). It's a very logical place to carry and hide a firearm.

For a long time (and still in certain circles) the AIWB carry method has been demonized as unsafe or as a "gangsta" way to carry. It was purported that those with training and "in the know" carried behind the hip and only those who were careless and didn't mind being viewed as a "bad guy" carried AIWB.

But while the nay-sayers blasted well-meaning carriers with threats of blowing off manhood and bleeding to death from a negligent femoral artery shots, those who are willing to judge the method dispassionately and have confident handling of their firearms are finding it a valid and possibly ideal means of carry.

The benefits of AIWB have been well-established but in case you may have missed them here they are:

- Ease of access
Our arms, though capable of reaching behind our hip, are not naturally inclined to reach there. Our natural work space for our hands and arms is in front of our hip bones. We are strongest and fastest when we work in that area and we can better handle and access items kept in that area.

- Time
Because we are stronger and faster when dealing with things in our arms natural work zone (in front of the hip bones) it stands to reason that we can work things faster in that area as well. The draw (or presentation from the holster) is often faster when we only have to reach down a few inches vs back several inches. Many long-time shooters and competitors have reported faster draw times from appendix vs hip carry. Some have seen no or very little difference in time.

- Concealment

Greg Ellifritz illustrating poor concealment
carrying behind the hip on a bicycle

This seems to depend a lot on body type, gun carried and holster. While some find appendix carry to be far more concealable, others find it less concealable. Some find it more concealable in certain situations like bike riding where behind the hip carry would be far more pronounced. Others find it difficult to conceal double-stack firearms but not single-stack. Sometimes a thick holster can make concealment harder in AIWB vs behind the hip. It cannot be denied, however, that some people have far better success concealing AIWB than other carry methods.

This also applies to concealment of the draw stroke. It's a lot easier to sneak a gun out of the holster in the AIWB position than behind the hip.

- Comfort
Again, this seems to vary widely with body type and the type of gun carried along with holster selection. I've spoken to some that find AIWB to be extremely comfortable and some that find it extremely uncomfortable. One friend of mine finds behind the hip carry to mess with her gait and cause problems in her strong-side leg. She finds AIWB to be far more comfortable and easy on her legs because the weight of the firearm is more centrally located on her body. Some find that the muzzle of their firearm in AIWB will press uncomfortably in certain locations, especially when bending or sitting. For some this depends entirely on the size and length of the gun and holster.

- Ease of retention
Because the area in front of our hips is our natural work zone it is easily accessed by both of our hands. Because of that we can put two hands on a firearm that we are fighting to retain when it is carried in that area. From behind the hip we are limited to the hand closest to that firearm. We also have more strength when our hands are working in that natural work-zone vs stretched behind the hip.

- Ease of presentation
Anyone who has trained hard knows that in a fight for one's life it's very likely you may not be standing straight and in the ideal stance. You may have to draw from seated, from your back on the ground, from your side, etc. And, again, because your arms are working in a natural work zone they can better access an AIWB position than a behind the hip position from certain positions.

My attempt at concealing a double stack HK P2000SK AIWB

I don't like to give opinions about things until I've tried them myself and for a very long time I've been fooling around with AIWB.

I am a very small female and I like larger fighting guns (the Glock 19 being my regular carry gun). That particular combination does not seem to do be very conducive to AIWB. No matter how hard I tried I could not conceal a double-stack firearm AIWB. The thickness of the firearm and the holster would press out the front of my clothing and make me look at least a couple of months pregnant or clearly trying to conceal something large.

I was not willing to go to something so small as a .380 unless it was as a back up gun. My own personal standards are that my primary carry gun will be a 9mm, have a full size grip and good sights. Many of your pocket .380s obviously do not fit those criteria and finding a thin, single stack 9mm meant I had to give up the capacity I've grown to love in my 19.

Because carrying behind my hip had never been a problem for me I never prioritized AIWB carry.

Glock 19, 4 o'clock
S&W Shield, AIWB
at ECQ

But after making a plea on Facebook to try AIWB again, an instructor friend of mine and gunsmith, David Bowie, from Bowie Tactical Concepts and instructor at the Tactical Defense Institute offered to let me borrow his S&W M&P Shield in 9mm and AIWB holster for the duration of the Extreme Close Quarters gunfighting class I took the first week of Oct.

I arrived on the first day and he had the gun and holster waiting for me. My immediate instinct was to put the firearm dead-center on the front of my body, right below my belly button and directly beneath my belt buckle.

After getting the gun and holster on I covered it with my shirt and went to show the instructors, Greg Ellifritz and David Bowie. While I was already seeing a huge improvement in my ability to conceal the single-stack 9mm they helped me adjust it to the right of my belly button and into the natural hollow just inside my strong-side hip bone. I was concerned that the grip would print more in that location but it was not an issue.

I was also immediately impressed with how comfortable it was. The gun was short and small enough not to press on the crease of my thigh when I sat or dig into my ribs when I bent over. Immediately, I ran through some deep squats, bends and twists to check for comfort and found it to be exceptionally comfortable.

I definitely wanted to try this new method of carry throughout the course of the class, however, it was not how I normally carried. It seemed counter-productive to do a whole class with a method of carry and gun I didn't use so I kept my Glock 19 behind my hip where it normally would sit. I decided to run the whole weekend with both guns, splitting each drill and exercise between the two guns and carry methods.

The holster I was using was a modified Comptac 2 o'clock holster that had the sweat shield cut off and a c-clip instead of the loop. It was a decent holster and did well but the c-clip was not as secure as I would have liked due to it being a little big for my belt. The gun tended to tip in throughout the weekend and while it was never a problem I found myself having to readjust after any rigorous activity. I don't think I would have had that problem had my belt and the c-clip been better fitted to one another.

Yes, I looked a little paranoid running both guns all weekend (including spare magazines for each and a TDI knife) but it was a great experience!

Bowie's modified CompTac 2 o'clock
with an M&P

Before class started I took Greg aside and asked him to give me a really quick crash course in drawing and holstering from AIWB so I did it safely as, though I'd tried AIWB before, I'd never actually done live-fire from the position nor had any real-world experience with it.

He reminded me that the most dangerous and important part of safely carrying AIWB was re-holstering (which is true of behind the hip carry as well). Because of where the gun is located, a careless reholster could mean a bullet in the inside thigh with potential of hitting the femoral artery. I also wanted to make sure that I didn't have the tendency to draw the firearm and sweep everyone to my left by pulling the gun in an awkward manner before pointing it straight down range. Greg watched my draw a couple of times, patted me on the back and called it good and we started class.

Getting to work both methods of carry simultaneously allowed me to immediately compare their methods. Interestingly, the hardest part of the weekend was remembering which spare magazine to reach for when I needed to reload with either firearm. There were at least two times I tried inserting a Glock 19 magazine into the the single-stack Shield.

The ECQ class was a great environment wherein to try AIWB for the first time and to compare it to the traditional behind the hip style of carry. In addition to shooting (which can be the least difficult part of using a firearm in self defense) we worked gun retention, drawing and shooting from unusual positions, one-handed operation, contact shooting, fighting to the gun and so much more. There really was no better way to directly compare both methods of carry.

I started immediately liking AIWB carry. It was easier to defend and very comfortable. It was concealable and the draw was quick and easy. I have strong confidence in my gun handling so I did not have a moment of fear or hesitation on either the presentation from or return to the holster.

I did not, however, like my depleted ammo supply. I found it very frustrating to have to reload the Shield so often and at one point, while clearing a jam in the Shield, I discarded a partially full magazine, reached for the spare and realized that had been my spare. I quickly switched to my Glock but felt that rush of heat knowing had that been a real encounter and I was limited to the one, low-capacity gun, I'd be out.

I liked shooting the Shield. It was comfortable and it was accurate and it had already had a trigger job so it was just as good to shoot as my Glock. It's low-profile top did not lend itself to easy one-handed operations like racking the slide but a new pair of rear sights would fix that. My Glock felt more familiar every time it was in my hand solely for the reason it's been my training and carry gun for far more years than the Shield. Even so, I could see myself picking up a Shield in the near future.

When Sunday rolled around and it was time for the force-on-force scenarios with Greg I offhandedly joked that I would continue to carry both guns. At which point Greg said, "Good, twice and many chances to disarm you."

I realized that it might be time to choose a single method of carry. I thought about it hard and, after sizing Ellifritz up a few times, opted for the Shield in the AIWB position.

During the first scenario he didn't attempt to go for my gun. We ended up on the ground with myself on my back underneath of him. I kicked him off of me, draw the Shield from AIWB and simulated shooting him in the chest and head.

I watched the video later and wondered if the Glock carried behind the hip would have been easier or similar in that particular position.

I had good distance. I had pushed him away with my feet. I would have had to have rolled a bit to my side to gain access to my Glock but I don't think it would have been much of a hindrance. I believe I would have been able to get a similar shot off had I been carrying behind the hip vs AIWB.

Below you can watch the first scenario.



In the second scenario we started on the ground with Greg on top of me. The point of this exercise was to illustrate that even if you have a lethal force tool and are completely justified in using lethal force, you may have to fight quite a bit before you can access that tool.

Greg later admitted to cheating. The rules were that he was only supposed to go for your gun if he saw it but he decided to go for my gun anyway. He didn't remember which carry method I chose and was reaching behind my hip. Watching the video later there is at least one moment where he probably would have been able to take my gun if I'd been carrying behind the hip vs AIWB. Carrying AIWB I was able to use his body as a means of retention. When I felt him trying to reach for my gun I would drop my hips below his or lay on top of him, pinning my gun between us so that he couldn't access it. It worked very well and even though I wasn't able to access the gun during the fight, I was able to get to my knife and cut him in the groin and get out of the situation.

I thought long and hard how that scenario would have been different had I been carrying behind the hip. He may have been able to take my Glock away from me easier but I may have been more aware of that and tried harder to keep it away from him instead of finding security in his inaccessibility to my AIWB carried Shield.

Below is the video of the second scenario.




The bottom line is that I felt AIWB would be easier to retain and that is why I chose that method of carry when I ran those scenario vs behind the hip.

If I could conceal my Glock 19 AIWB I would switch methods of carry tomorrow. I have been convinced of the superiority of that method for certain situations, particularly retaining the firearm and I see no benefit of behind the hip carry over AIWB other than possible concealment and comfort issues with less-than-ideal body types. 

For me, my hesitation rests only in the fact that it would require me to downgrade to a lower capacity firearm to successfully conceal AIWB and I am very hesitant to give up my 16 rounds of 9mm in a gun I know I can conceal well behind the hip for 7 or 8 carried AIWB. I have not been able to decide if the benefits of AIWB outweigh the drawbacks of the low capacity.

I find what Todd Green said in this article regarding capacity to be quite accurate regarding my own feelings: 

Bullets are opportunities. They’re options. Having more of them is always better than having less, even if you don’t need them.

I may find myself switching between the modes of carry in the near future as I am saving up for a S&W M&P Shield. And when I get said gun I will be carrying it AIWB. Who knows, maybe I'll carry both. There really is no quicker reload than grabbing a fresh gun!

Breastfeeding and Gun Classes

While at the Rangemaster Instructor Class this last weekend I was one of around six other women in class. As women are wont to do, we got talking about our children, their ages and other motherly issues such as childbirth and breastfeeding.

I mentioned I was still breastfeeding my youngest and one of the other mothers looked at me and said, "How do you come to places like this and do it?"

"It's not easy," I said.

"No, really," she said. "How do you do it? I want to know."

I realized that as women start to break into the gun community on a more regular basis, with them will come women who are going to be going through some very female specific issues.

I told her that when I got home I would write about it and she said, "Please do! Women need to hear about this stuff."

And as uncomfortable as it may be to read about male instructors need to be aware that if their goal is to reach out to female students they may have to accommodate a few female specific needs, one of which is the breastfeeding mother.

This is the third, multi-day gun class I've taken since giving birth to my daughter. She's nearly two years old and still breastfeeding. I say that very proudly because it has taken a huge commitment on my part to make sure I am doing all I can to keep producing during the times I am away from her. Including this weekend.

What does it mean to be a lactating mother in the gun community?

Lots of prep work.

My first and second two and three-day gun class were when my daughter was four and five months old. She was exclusively breastfed at that time and I should have been pumping on a 3-4 hour cycle to be keeping up with her demands in her absence.

Quite frankly, that didn't happen. But what I did do was sufficient to keep my supply up so that when I got home she was able to pick up right where we left off.

Step One: If you're going to be a breastfeeding mom you need a quality breast pump and the right size shields. I am fortunate enough to have two quality breast pumps and every single size shield. Both of my pumps are Medela Pump-In-Styles. One is the backpack version and the other is the shoulder bag. Many women do not even know that there are different shield sizes for different nipple sizes and that the shield size can change depending on how engorged you are and can even be different from one breast to the other. Too large or too small of a shield can mean painful pumping and poor production. If you are unsure of the shield sizes see a lactation consultant before you leave on your trip. Often times they will help you fit your shields for free. I know that if I did not have a quality pump and the right size shields I would not have been able to pump as efficiently in the time frames I was given. A quality pump is essential.  



Step Two: Make sure you have enough milk stored up for your baby for your trip. This is going to involve a little math, some more time and a lot of dedication. Determine how much milk your baby is consuming each day. You can do this by weight, by volume or by averages for his weight and needs based on growth charts and then find out how much milk you are going to need for the entirety of your trip by multiplying your babies daily ounces consumed by the number of days you will be gone (including travel). Set yourself reasonable pumping and milk storage goals to make that amount of excess before you need to leave. The more time you give yourself the better your chances will be. Pumping two extra ounces a day for three months is a lot easier than suddenly finding out you'll have to pump twenty extra ounces a day for a week to store enough.

Step Three: Be sure your baby will take a bottle from your intended caregiver. Be aware that sometimes babies will take bottles only in their mothers absence. If they can smell you or hear you they will likely attempt to refuse a bottle. A good test of whether or not a baby will take a bottle is to leave a hungry baby with a caregiver and leave the building completely.

Step Four: You need to be able to cool/freeze the milk to you express. Thankfully, the school I was at the first two times had a refrigerator with a functioning freezer. I asked the owner if I could use the freezer (without telling him what I would be freezing) and he said it was ok. That made storing my milk at those classes very easy. In this last class there was no freezer and it was hot. Very hot! In which case it's important to think again and prep your cooler for storing milk.

1. Make sure the hotel or other location you are staying at has a freezer available. Even if you can't freeze your milk immediately, keeping it cool on ice or dry ice until you can get it frozen that night should keep it fresh.
2. Dry ice is better than regular ice. Ice cubes are better than cold packs.
3. On particularly hot days, the more ice and layers of insulation the better.

Dry ice can be difficult to find but not impossible. I have found it by calling big chain grocery stores in the area and getting it in advance. If it's a particularly hot day buy a foam cooler that can fit inside of a larger cooler. Pack the large cooler with ice and have room for drinks and sandwiches and pack the smaller cooler with dry ice or more ice for your expressed milk.

Step Five: You need to be able to clean yourself and your equipment. Firing ranges are not clean and sterile fields. We shouldn't even eat without washing our hands due to lead exposure, never mind about contaminating your breastmilk with lead and sweat and everything else. And once you are done pumping you have to have a means of cleaning your parts so that they are ready to use when you need to pump again.

Most big name schools will have a bathroom adequate enough to wash your hands and face. Wash all the way up to your elbows with cool water and lots of soap and, if you are particularly dirty and sweaty, consider washing your breasts as well or at least having wipes handy for that job.

If you can, take your parts to an actual sink and wash them with soap and water. In absence of that, what I did was rinse my pump parts with clean, bottled water and then dropped them into a gallon-size plastic bag with soapy water. I rinsed them with the soapy water and then rinsed again with the bottled water. I had a sterilizing steam bag I would use every night when I got back to the hotel.

A quick note on lead exposure and breastmilk: What you ingest will make it into your milk supply. You will inhale or otherwise absorb lead particles throughout your time at a gun class. That lead has potential to make it into your milk. Try though I may I have found no reliable source of information to indicate that that exposure is enough to harm your baby through your milk. Even so, some mothers choose to pump and dump the milk they express during and immediately after gun classes. That is your choice. Personally, I have not had an issue giving the milk I have expressed during gun classes to my children and the lead tests they have had in their childhood have all come back normal.

Step Six: Store your milk in bags, not bottles and bring a big enough cooler. Bottles take up more space and you run out of them pretty fast. For a weekend class while exclusively breastfeeding I filled an entire freezer with over 200 ounces of breastmilk. I was using 5 ounce bags and had well over 40 bags of milk in the freezer before I left. That's a lot of milk.

Step Seven: Find a private place with power. I hate to tell you this girls, but most of the time that's going to end up being your car. Lots of gun schools, if they have a bathroom will only have one. Sometimes it might only be a portable toilet with no power and no running water. Even if it has power and running water there's likely going to be a line of people waiting to use it during breaks.

Buy a power adapter for your pump that fits your car or a battery pack (beware that battery packs often don't provide adequate power for good suction), turn on the engine to get the air conditioner or heater working (whichever you need), hang some sweaters over the windows if you don't have good tinting and pump away. If you are particularly sensitive about looky-loos, make sure that you don't park in a place with lots of foot traffic (ask me how I know that one!).

Step Eight: Have your pump set up and ready for quick pumping sessions on short breaks. You may be squeezing in a quick pump with just enough time to take the nagging, painful edge off in five minutes before you have to run off to class. You don't want to be plugging in your hoses, getting your bags and shields and power hooked up. If you're going to pump in your car, have all of that set up so that all you have to do is jump in, flip the switch, pump and go. You may not even have time to store the milk you pump in an ultra short session or be able to clean yourself and your parts adequately and might have to dump what you pump (it's okay to cry over spilled breastmilk) but a five minute session can stave of engorgement, pain and mastitis. If you can sneak it in do it!

Step Nine: Know how much to pump. If you're lucky enough to pump as often as your child nurses then pump only what your child would eat. Depending on how much milk you produce your child may or may not empty your breast at each feeding. If you are struggling with your milk supply already and there may be delays in when you can pump again, empty both breasts and pump for an additional five minutes or so to make sure they are good and empty and stimulated to make more. If, however, you have a good supply and you pump too much your breasts will think you need more and will produce more. You could end up far more engorged and uncomfortable than if you just pumped enough for one feeding at a time.

If, however, you feel any hot or firm spots, empty that breast COMPLETELY while massaging the area to avoid plugged ducts and mastitis. Keep in mind that your breast tissue runs all the way up to your armpit so don't forget to massage there as well working towards your nipple.

Step Ten: Be prepared for engorgement, unexpected let-downs, leaking, plug ducts and the potential for mastitis. The best way you can avoid all of the above is to make smart decisions about the clothes you wear. Sports bras and tight shirts will compress your expanding breasts throughout the day and can cause plug ducts that, if not handled well and quickly can and will lead to mastitis (a breast infection). Wear a quality nursing bra and a looser fitting shirt that can stretch and expand with your breasts.

Invest in some leak-proof nursing pads that will catch any unexpected leaks or let-downs through the day and change them as often as needed for your comfort. Trust me, you do NOT want to be trying to stifle a let-down in the middle of a live-fire shoot house!

When you are able to rest for the evening, take a hot bath or shower and consciously check your breasts for hot spots, places that feel unusually firm or are particularly sore. If any are found massage the area rigorously, preferably while pumping (yes, it will hurt) and take an anti-inflammatory.

Step Eleven: Eat and drink well. Your body needs extra calories to produce milk. Yes, it needs water but it also needs protein and fat. Stay hydrated and eat enough protein and fat to keep your supply up. Breastfeeding can take up to an additional 500 calories a day to maintain. Don't skimp on the snacks.

Step Twelve: Speak up for yourself. If you're in a fast-paced class that wants to have a "working lunch" or doesn't take breaks, put your foot down. It won't do you any good to get mastitis on the second day and find yourself in bed with a fever and the most pain ripping through your body you've experienced since childbirth (I've had mastitis three times in total.. I know of what I speak).

For the rest? Roll with it. You'll figure it out. I promise!

And to instructors: Be aware of who you have in your class. Get to know your students before hand. If you find out that you have a young mother in your class consider having an hour long or at least half hour long lunch so if she needs to pump she can do it without rushing. If you have a freezer available to you let her know it and welcome her to use it. She may be uncomfortable asking. If she says, "Why would I need a freezer?" don't worry about it. You offered. If she needed it, she'd know why you were offering it.

I know instructors don't always have a choice of where they teach and don't have control over things like bathroom facilities, power, water and refrigeration. But you do have control over when to take breaks and making someone feel comfortable. If you suspect there's a nursing mother in class attempt to give her a little more time, especially for the lunch break. Not only will she need to pump in that time but she'll have to eat and probably go to the bathroom, too. I guarantee she won't want to be a burden to the class so help her by giving her time and space if available.

Woman Shoots Herself In Hand At Staples

I was sent THIS STORY by a Facebook follower who wanted to get my take on it.

First let me say that I trust news reports just about as far as I can throw them when it comes to details. That being said, we know a few things to be fact:

1) A woman and her toddler were shopping for school supplies at Staples in North Carolina.
2) The woman had a carry permit and her gun was in her purse.
3) She ended up shooting herself in the hand.

My take is that women need to wake up to the realities of purse carry.

If you watch the short news video in the above link you will find yourself giving yourself a double palm strike to the face. First when you hear about the woman shooting herself in the hand and again when you hear the eyewitness who is also a gun owner speculate that the discharge was due to a firearm having an external hammer.

(Don't believe me? Go watch the video.)

No, I don't know exactly what made that firearm go off but I have serious doubts it had anything to do with the firearm being hammered vs hammerless. I know guns well enough to know that the trigger being pressed is the #1 reason for discharges of any kind. #2 would be things getting inside the trigger guard that were never supposed to be there in the first place (which, when you think of it, is merely an extension of #1).

External hammer or not something got to that trigger. Period. End of story. Full Stop.

Every year I read a slew of stories like this. And every year I want to go shake some women.

If we women want to stop the stereotype that we don't know what we are doing when it comes to guns we have to hold ourselves to a higher standard and stop doing things that are irresponsible, dangerous and neglectful.

Yes. Leaving your gun in your bag where your child can access it is irresponsible. It is dangerous and it is neglectful.

Not having your firearm properly secured within that bag so that objects and fingers can't get inside the trigger guard is irresponsible. It is dangerous. It is neglectful.

And trying to shift blame onto something like an external hammer shows a lack of working knowledge of firearms that is, quite frankly, alarming.


I hate being overly harsh to people who have gone through tragedy when it comes to firearms. This woman is likely looking at a long road of recovery for herself and my hope is that her hand will heal with not a lot of lasting damage. She'll have to live with the scar as a reminder and be grateful that it wasn't worse, that her child is safe and no one else was injured.

Ladies, don't waste this story by ignoring it. Woman up and carry your gun on your body in a quality holster made for that firearm.

If you cannot or will not do that (for whatever reason). Get a gun purse. Get a holster for your gun that fits that gun purse and secure your firearm properly.

Then, keep that bag on your body and away from your children.

Stop being irresponsible. Stop being dangerous. Stop being neglectful.

What would be your recommendations for a gun purse?

Fight Like A Girl And Other Lessons From A Stabbing

Angela Champagne-From

A few weeks ago I saw this story on my Facebook feed. A woman, Angela Champagne-From, was assaulted in a Minneapolis parking garage. A man put a knife to her neck and told her to get in a car with him. She had no way of knowing he was a serial sexual predator. She chose to fight him. She used techniques she learned in a self defense class to defend herself and got stabbed in the process. Her attacker was later caught and she has since made it her mission to encourage more women to fight back.

The story is an amazing one and I encourage you to read it. But the lessons are so vast I couldn't help but reiterate them in this blog post. I was so inspired to learn all I could from her story I sought out further information and news reports that led me to her contact information. Angela agreed to talk to me and I had an hour and a half long phone conversation regarding the incident, her mindset, self defense and the like. She is an amazing woman and I hope one day to shake her hand and tell her in person how much I admire her spirit.

I am, in no way, condemning any of Angela's actions. She knows this and I want you to know it, too. She did what she could and she survived. She also uses her experience to empower others. She is a strong woman! But that doesn't mean we can't learn more from her experience to help prepare ourselves.

As I read her story and spoke with her the lessons kept rearing their heads and I found myself grouping them into categories. Though the incident itself was fluid it was not hard at all to breakdown into what could be considered the categories of any self defense situation.

The Mindset
Mindset is a huge bite to chew in a short blog post. A fighting mindset encompasses a variety of things including the awareness that bad things happen and can happen to you, the seeking of defensive training, the willingness to use that training in the time of need against your fellow man and the fortitude to continue training, preparing even through the lull of everyday life and variations therein.

When it comes to self defense most people fall into one of a few categories:
Unaware and unprepared.
Aware and unprepared.
Aware and marginally prepared.
Aware and prepared.

The problem with being aware and marginally prepared is that a lot of people don't know how much they don't know. They will take a self defense class, carry a defensive tool and believe themselves prepared. While they are better prepared than someone who has neither of those things there may be things lacking from their training. Most people will never need the defensive training they take and many are okay with that. Taking additional training becomes a balance between risk, reward, finances and time. But in the time of need the training they are lacking can become evident.

When I spoke to Angela on the phone I asked her about the details of the self defense class she took and why she took it. She kind of laughed. It was a high school class that spanned over the course of a semester and she thought it would be an easy A. She didn't take any further self defense classes after high school but was aware that bad things happened. It wasn't something she worried about but she knew it could happen.

That self defense class, though taken casually, had a huge impact on Angela's mindset. She said had she been attacked as a teen she wasn't sure she would have the fortitude to fight back but after graduating from high school (and subsequently that self defense class) she developed stronger boundaries and was more sure of herself. She had more confidence and more will to stand up for herself.

The inside of Angela's car.

That mindset did not protect her from being attacked. It only helped her make the decision to fight once the attack happened.

Even with that fighting mindset she was taken by surprise. Rushing from work to school she was emailing her boyfriend when she walked into the parking garage. She threw her bags in her car and was about to get in herself when she felt something at her neck. Thinking it was a joke she reached up and grabbed at the item and cut her hand on the knife. At that moment she knew it was no joke and immediately began to kick and scream and fight. Her attacker then stabbed her in the abdomen.

Jeff Cooper's color codes of awareness are as follows:
White: Unaware and unprepared.
Yellow: Aware and alert for potential danger.
Orange: Alerted to a specific, potential threat.
Red: Threat identified.
Black or Triggers: A fight is imminent unless circumstances change.

No matter what self defense blog you read or website you go on you will be bombarded with the reminder to live your life in condition yellow. To be alert and aware and to keep your head on a swivel. People are so passionate about condition yellow that I've even seen bracelets marketed to women with beads to remind them to be in condition yellow.

It's said that one can operate in condition yellow as long as he or she is conscious. I believe that to be more of a goal than an actual accomplishment. I don't care how aware you think you are, if you are honest with yourself you will admit that you slip into condition white from time to time. Whether it's an unexpected phone call, trying to remember when your kids next pediatrician appointment is or looking at the legs of the hot chick who just walked by you will occasionally find yourself slipping into condition white. Maybe you've gotten so comfortable in your routine that you live in condition white.

I will not criticize anyone who gets taken by surprise in an attack. Angela shared with me that she was sent a note telling her that if she hadn't been on her phone she probably wouldn't have gotten attacked. First, that couldn't be known. And that kind of blame shifting irritates me to no end. Checking your email does not mean you deserve a knife in your belly. Yes, you should be aware and alert but if you aren't and are caught by surprise that does not make you culpable.

That being said, of course one should try to remain aware or in that condition yellow. Look up and around. Be aware of who is near you and what is going on. And don't be in denial.

Angela had a brief moment of denial that what was happening was real.

A few weeks ago, Greg Ellifritz posted an article by Marc MacYoung titled Best Way to Get Attacked. One of the points was "Don't Deny It's Happening."

Violence is a rarity. Many people can go their entire lives without ever having been involved in a physical fight. ...
People from lifestyles where violence is common immediately recognize when it is happening and react accordingly. All other priorities fall away.
...
Whereas people for whom violence 'doesn't happen' or they haven't been in a physical conflict since they were kids, there is huge denial factor.

She was initially surprised by the attack but she soon recognized it for what it was and then adjusted accordingly. She set her boundaries by determining she was not going to get into a car with him and she acted on the training she had received. She had a mindset to fight. And fight she did.

The Pre-Attack
There are no details of the pre-attack in the article posted. When I spoke to Angela and asked her if she was aware of her attacker before the knife she said that she may or may not have seen him but if she did he did not register as a threat and she doesn't remember alerting to him.

Her first real indication that there was any threat was him putting the knife to her throat.

Because she did not see him we have no knowledge of pre-fight indicators in her case.

We don't know how he approached her or what his demeanor was like. We know that a man with a knife can often cover a quite a bit of space before an average individual with a gun can draw and fire and so we can't get too high and mighty about him being able to close distance and get a knife to her throat. However, we can't help but wonder what went on between her entering that parking garage and a knife being pressed to her throat.

If she had seen him approaching could she have been made aware an attack was imminent through pre-fight indicators? Would he have asked a question? Would her guard have been down because he was dressed nicely and it was the middle of the day? Would she have gotten a gut feeling that something was off? Would she have seen something in his hand? Perhaps his hands would have been hidden? What, if any, pre-fight indicators would he have been displaying?

Of course we can only speculate in this case because we don't know but we can be aware that pre-fight indicators exist and we should be aware of them. We should listen to our gut and watch for hands and weapons and not let our guard down for a nice suit.

Again, this isn't to shift blame onto Angela, but to learn from her experience.

There are not as many resources on pre-fight or pre-attack indicators as you'd think. Because I don't have a lot of experience with pre-fight/attack indicators, I did some searching and this is one article I found: Police One: Pre Attack Indicators: Conscious Recognition of Telegraphed Cues 

I plan to do more research into pre-fight/attack indicators in the future.

The Attack
Angela's attacker put a knife to her throat and said, "We're going for a ride."

The wound to Angela's hand.

Angela made a bold decision. With a knife to her throat she chose to fight. She wasn't some sort of martial arts master. She took a self defense class and she chose to use what she had learned. She set a boundary that she wasn't going to cross and she fought. It was that simple.

It did not, however, mean that she was going to get out unscathed.


I'd like to point out that many people have different opinions on what it means to be victorious or to win in self defense. Some think that you only win if you walk away unscathed with a dead bad guy at your feet. I believe that kind of mindset sets one up for failure--if not personally than legally.

I prefer to follow the examples of Rory Miller who said,

"It is better to avoid than to run; better to run than to de-escalate; better to de-escalate than to fight; better to fight than to die. The very essence of self-defense is a thin list of things that might get you out alive when you are already screwed."

Self defense is a lose/lose situation. Even if you win, you've lost. You have been attacked or victimized in some way. All of your attempts at avoidance, evasion and deescalation have failed. You've already lost your battle to some level and now the goal is to lose less and survive. Maybe you'll lose your wallet, some blood or a little pride. Accept that loss so that you do not get hung up on it.

People who get hung up on that loss die over their car or the twenty dollars in their wallets or their pride over something someone said about their girlfriend or mother. Maybe they die cowering in the back of a van because they were afraid they'd get hurt if they fought and it was better to just "go along" with it than possibly lose a little in a hand-to-hand fight. Yes, there may be a time to feign compliance but those are decisions you have to make in the moment. Don't get hung up on what you might lose lest you lose your life.

And, no, that doesn't mean you should think getting hurt or losing is no big deal. I have often heard people say, "Expect to get cut" (or hurt) in a fight. Yes, have a realistic viewpoint of what a fight for your life might be but don't accept it to the point where you don't work to defend against it or think it no big thing. Acknowledge that it can happen, defend against it as best you can, but don't stop fighting because you weren't able to prevent it.

Angela reached up and grabbed the knife at her throat and immediately cut her thumb. She could have defeated herself and given up at that moment and thought, "I'm cut. It's over. I lost." She didn't. She accepted that she lost a little but was determined to accept that loss in favor of saving her own life.

She fought!

The article says, "she stomped his feet, clawed at his face, bit his hand and jabbed at his crotch, kicking and screaming."

In the end she gained her life and her attacker walked away with the words, "You're lucky you're a fighter!"

What an amazing testament to her, her mindset and her effort! She didn't kill him. She didn't beat him. She did not overpower him and keep him from hurting her. While she inflicted at least some injuries to him there is no indication that they were anything severe or life-threatening. But she kept him from taking her and from killing her. She lost the battle but won the war for her life! That is self defense at its finest!

I asked her if at any time she felt that compliance was the better option. She said no. She told me that despite the injury her actions ultimately led to his capture and conviction and stopped him from attacking anyone else. Yes, she was injured but she stopped him and therefore it was worth it.

The Defensive Weapon
It bears mentioning that Angela had a self defense tool. She had pepper spray. She said that it was in the zipper pouch in her purse and she tried to get to it during the fight.

A self defense tool is only as good as your access to it and its state of readiness. If we know this we don't always practice it. Sometimes we think just having the tool means we will be able to use it in a time of need. We are often unaware that getting to a defensive tool can sometimes be the hardest part of a fight.

I don't care how many times you've practiced grabbing that little canister of spray out of your purse while you are comfortably standing in your living room or how many times you practiced getting that gun out of your bag or racking a round into an empty chamber.

When you're rolling around with a knife buried in your belly the situation changes quite a bit. The ability to use your self defense tool will directly relate to how accessible it is (i.e. on your body in an accessible location) and its state of readiness (loaded and ready to fire). If you cannot, for whatever reason (attire, personal preference, vocation, local legalities) have a weapon accessible and ready than you must accept the fact that you may not be able to use it and must plan accordingly.

I don't know how long she fought to get into her bag for her pepper spray. The fight lasted about three minutes from start to finish. That's a very long time in a fight. At some point it became clear to her that her pepper spray was not a viable option. I'm sure if the situation changed so that she could have used her pepper spray she would have used it.

Many people use the excuse of "well, I carry a gun (knife, pepper spray, taser, etc) everywhere I go" as an excuse as to why they will not take hand-to-hand training or train with other defensive systems. There may very well be a time when that tool is not available.

Angela had some hand-to-hand training. She used what she had and it may have saved her life. If you carry a self defense tool, have it accessible and have it ready to use but also be prepared for the possibility that that tool may not be available, or functioning.

If you choose to carry a defensive tool, get training with it. Run some scenarios with a trainer and a willing partner. Be realistic about its access and state of readiness and have a backup for it it's not available.

The Call
What stirred me to search out more information on Angela's story was the 911 tape. I wanted to hear it.

I found it in a radio interview with Angela and was shocked and enraged at what I heard.

Angela pleads for help and the dispatcher asks her where she is located. Angela tells the dispatcher and the dispatcher says, "I don't know where that is."

At that moment Angela ran. She was already starting to get a little delirious with blood loss but felt she needed to find help and that staying where she was would mean her death.

The toll booth at the bottom of the parking ramp
where Angela collapsed

She was attacked on the fourth level of a parking garage. Throughout the call you can hear Angela running down the ramp and giving the dispatcher her location and pleading for help. The dispatcher keeps saying she doesn't know where that is and doesn't know where to send help. At the end of the call you hear Angela speaking to someone else. She'd reached the bottom of the parking ramp and was speaking to the person in the toll booth. The dispatcher says, "I'm disconnecting now," and disconnects the call.

It was later discovered that a separate 911 call from someone else at the scene was what actually got responders moving. Even so she found out later that the ambulance drove right past her and had to double back. Had she stayed where she was and relied solely on her 911 call she probably would have died.

Be aware that while we have an amazing system of response it is not infallible. In this area the difference between saying 3rd avenue and 3rd street could be the difference between the north side of town and the south. Even if your phone is equipped with GPS the call center you are calling into may not have the capability of accessing that information.

Even if dispatched to the correct location road blocks, construction, street set up and so much more can complicate responders reaching you in a timely fashion.

Take stock of where you are and be prepared to have an address be the first thing you say when connected with 911 operators. At least you got that out there. Whether or not the responders know what to do with that information is entirely on them.

Which brings me to my next point.

The Injury

Angela's 10" deep stab wound and scar
from surgery.

Angela was lucky to survive that attack. Through the course of the fight she was cut in the hand and stabbed in the abdomen. She lost so much blood at the scene that a homicide unit was called to take pictures. She lost half of her blood volume. Most of it pooled in her abdomen due to internal bleeding. It is amazing that she survived.

The attack ended at 4:03 in the afternoon (according to time stamps on surveillance footage). She was rolled into the emergency room at 4:28.

Many people who are interested in self defense do not carry medical supplies. They operate under the assumption that in the unlikely event they will get attacked they will not only survive but if they suffer injuries the injuries will not be sufficient to kill them. Most people who run scenarios through their heads never postulate that they may be injured and if presented with a scenario that begins with an injury they often have no response or admit not having a good option.

A deep abdominal puncture wound like Angela's would be hard to treat outside of the hospital. You can't just put on a tourniquet and wait for paramedics. Applying a dressing on the top of the wound might be sufficient to keep some of the blood inside the body but the internal bleeding would continue. I searched high and low for advice on how to treat such a deep abdominal puncture wound and while one trauma doctor said he would not hesitate to try to pack the wound with something like QuikClot combat gauze, without being able to see the injured blood vessel it would likely not be as effective. Others I talked to reaffirmed his statement.

She needed surgery or she would have died. As it was it is a miracle she survived. But not all wounds are as severe as hers. And even if they are severe, many otherwise fatal wounds can be sufficiently treated outside of the hospital temporarily.

Do you have the skills and supplies to treat such wounds?

If not, why not?

If your interests really are in saving your own life, learn how to save a life. Get medical training and carry the equipment with you. You may not be able to treat everything but what you may be able to treat may save your life or the life of someone you love.

I asked Angela if she was aware of how severe her injury was. She said no. She said she knew she'd been stabbed only because she felt a warm sensation in her abdomen but did not know the extent of the injury and there was no pain. She was able to function and fight even while losing so much blood. While that should encourage us to fight even when injured be aware that the same is true of your attacker.

It's often said that stab wounds don't hurt. They feel like punches and many times people do not know they've been stabbed until they see blood. The pain does not come until later and even with severe injuries the ability to fight is not necessarily hindered. If you use a knife for self defense know how to target areas that will incapacitate not just cause pain or bleed. Get defensive knife training.

Fitness
Yes, fitness.

Take a look around at the fitness levels of people around you. Maybe even take a look in the mirror. We Americans are chronically out of shape and overweight. Middle-age and big-bellied has almost become the cliche image of gun totters. Many even cite the fact that they carry a gun as an excuse as to why they don't get in shape.

Angela fought for roughly three minutes (an eternity in a fight). She was stabbed and while bleeding internally she ran down four flights of a parking garage to help.

Many Americans would not have the physical stamina to make it through half of that.

I didn't have to ask Angela about her fitness level. She brought it up all on her own. She told me she was a runner and took her fitness seriously. She told me that she strongly believes her level of fitness helped her fight, survive and recover from her injury.

Take your fitness seriously. Stop making excuses. If you have a previous injury or ailment, acknowledge it but do what you can to improve the fighting condition of your body. Get out there and strength train, endurance train, it may very well be the difference between life and death.

The Conclusion
Angela's story is an amazing example to those of us in the self defense community. Her strength and determination to fight are inspiring. Take inspiration from her but also learn from her.

Be aware. Be aware of your surroundings and those around you. Be aware of pre-fight indicators.

If you carry a defensive tool train with it. Have it accessible, ready to use and in good working order.

If your defensive tool is not available or not functioning be prepared to fight without it.

Be prepared to give an exact location to responders but don't rely solely on that to save you. Run, move, treat, seek alternative sources of help at the scene.

Have the skills and tools to treat injuries to yourself and others.

Be fit enough to fight. 

Fight!

Fight and survive!

A special thanks to Angela for her willingness to speak with me and share her story and pictures with me. Thank you for the inspiration!

Angela's mission is to inspire women to fight. Check out her Facebook page at Angela's Story: Fight Like a Girl.