The Pros and Cons of Babywearing

I have three beautiful children. As a parent, my style could be summed up in what is often referred to as Attachment Parenting. I have practiced extended breastfeeding, co-sleeping and babywearing with all three of my children. I've also been armed.

These practices have made for a rewarding, close and loving environment for my kids but there are some fall backs when it comes to defensive tactics.

The social and developmental benefits of babywearing are often debated among mommy groups all over the place, neither of which I will discuss here here. If you babywear you know the benefits of it for your family.

If you are interested in some basic babywearing and gun-carrying tips, please read Carrying A Gun And A Baby.

What we are going to discuss here is the narrow scope of the pros and cons of babywearing from a purely self-defense standpoint.

Pros:

- Free Hands
One of the best aspects of babywearing is that it allows for hands-free activity. Fighting, drawing a weapon, controlling an attacker long enough to gain access to a weapons, etc., are all easier with two free hands.

Whether the baby is front or back carried will also have an effect on how easy it is to work in a particular space or allow access to tools. Babies too young to sit up on their own are primarily carried in front carriers and wraps. However, this position limits your range of motion slightly with a child on your chest and if you carry a defensive tool on the front of your body they can hinder access to said tool, depending on how high you carry and the size of your child. It will also completely impede your access to something like a flashbang holster.

Front Body Carry Makes Center-line Carry More Inaccessible

Front carrying a baby with a front carry defensive (handgun, knife etc.) system also hinders your ability to look and reholster your tools. It's not a huge issue if it's a fight for your life, but it's something to consider.

- Baby Cannot Be Left Behind
This is both a pro and a con (as we will discuss later) but a baby that is physically strapped to your body obviously cannot be easily left behind.

One would think this would never be a concern but it is something that has happened on several occasions when it comes to violent crime or other emergency situations. This has a lot to do with the freeze, fight or flight response. These responses are designed for your personal self-protection and do not concern themselves with the defense of others. It is possible to leave your child behind in a flight response, but obviously not if that child is strapped to your body.

- Baby Is Secure
Child snatching is a huge concern for many parents, despite the fact that it is statistically unlikely to ever occur--especially via a stranger. That does not mean it cannot and has not happened, however. A baby attached to your body cannot be snatched either as a means of kidnapping or to be used as a tool of compliance. There is also no chance that your child will be accidentally dropped in panic.

- Movement Is Easier
To a degree, movement is easier when you are carrying a baby on your body. Yes, having an 8-20 lbs. child strapped to your body does degrade your movement to some point, but it's a lot easier to move around with your child strapped to your body than with a baby in a stroller. If trying to escape a burning building I'd absolutely prefer to have my child strapped to me than in a stroller or in my arms. I would be less likely to drop my child, get caught up fumbling with my baby and a door, or have him knocked from my arms by other panicked patrons.

Cons:

- Holster Systems Can Be Hindered

Back Carry Allows More Access to Tools Carried on the Center-line of the body

This is the single most common issue I see with babywearing and carrying. Because of the nature of baby carriers that attach around the waist, over the chest, and across the back, some of the most common carry locations for firearms are compromised or hindered due to the carrier or baby interfering with the holster or draw. Sometimes it's a simpler solution like changing the babywearing method or going to a different holster. Sometimes it means coming up with an entirely different defensive carry system depending on the method of carrying the child. What I have seen in practice is parents compromising access and putting their guns and holsters in places that are impractical and potentially dangerous for a self-defense situation.

But that will be a blog for another day.

- Damage To You Means Damage To Baby
Herein lies the single most terrifying part of wearing a baby from a defensive standpoint: If you take damage, it's highly likely your baby will as well. In other words, babywearing is like pregnancy. While pregnant and under attack there is nothing you can reasonably be expected to do to protect your child. The same goes for babywearing. Because you can't put your baby down or distance yourself and because your baby is so exposed if you are taking fire, it's highly likely your baby is going to be shot. If you are under a knife attack, it's likely your baby is going to be cut. If you are being kicked or hit or punched, it is likely your baby is going to be on the receiving end of those blows as well.

You could certainly try to shield your baby from harm by turning him or her away and placing your own body between yourself and the attacker, but even that is no guarantee your child will not come to harm.

As terrifying as that is to consider, it is something that must be addressed. If all of your preventive measures are overlooked and someone chooses to visit violence on you while babywearing you must be aware and prepared for the fact that it will likely mean harm to your child.

- Baby Cannot Be Left Behind Or Handed Over
As promised, I told you this was both a pro and a con. The con side of this particular coin is that you cannot leave your child behind to draw fire or violence away from them. If you are the target and not your child and the violence is centered on you, there is no quick, easy way to separate yourself from your child or give your child to someone who can take him or her out of harm's way. If the fight is on it's going to require fighting around the child.

- Fighting Is Harder
Hand-to-hand fighting is hard enough. Doing it with a 10-20 lbs. weight strapped to your back or front will make it harder. Your center of gravity is off. Your range of motion is restricted. Your ability to clench up or ground fight is almost gone. Roundhouse kicks? Front snap kicks? Vicious knees? All harder with a child strapped to your body. Not to mention the elevated degree of violence you may need may mean harm to your child.

- Running Is Not An Option
Let me rephrase: Running is always an option. It's not always a good option, but it is an option. Remember that women often cannot run as fast as men. If you are a man, 20 lbs. of strapped baby will probably hinder you as well.

If you have an opportunity to escape to safety you absolutely should take it! However, you have to reasonably understand what your capacity for escape is when you are carrying a child. Even if you are a runner, your ability to sprint with a child will be hampered. Try it sometime.

Thankfully, crime against parents while they carry their babies is still quite low. While it does happen, it's not so common as to be expected. That being said, it's still a possibility.

When the pros and cons are weighed exclusively from a defensive standpoint, babywearing is a terrible defensive tactic and has no real advantage and lots of disadvantages that can be devastating for both the parent and baby.

That being said, babywearing does have great developmental, bonding and even health benefits for the parent and baby. Whether or not one decides to continue to babywear should be based on all of those factors as well as risk factors for actual violence.

There are those who may decide that babywearing increases the difficulty in defending themselves too much and decide to no longer babywear. If that's the case, that's fine.

While I have continued to babywear, I have amended my practices to make the outcome better for the both of us.

-Be smart about when and where you wear your baby.
This should go without saying, but it stands to reason that making smart decisions about where, when and who you are with when you babywear is going to help with your defensive options.

Do you and your husband and your kids all have to go to the grocery store? Can you or your husband stay home snuggling the baby while the other goes to the store by him or herself for some alone time and therefore not have to worry about defensive situations with a child in tow?

If required to go some place with a higher rate of violent crime, might it be better to place your child in a stroller vs babywear? It may seem counter-intuitive, as parents like to collect their children to their persons when they feel threatened, but from a purely defensive perspective it may not be the best tactic.

-Have a means to get your baby off of you as quickly as possible.
This will have a lot to do with your type of chosen baby carrier. Buckle carriers are quicker to get in and out of than wraps, so given the choice between the two you might want to choose the one that is easier to get out of.

Safety Cutter on the Benchmade Triage

Make no mistake about it, in an immediate, violent attack on your life you are not going to have time to remove your baby from your person. However, immediately after or if in a lull or in other emergency situations, you might need to get your baby off you and quickly. Carrying items like safety cutters or seatbelt cutters for straps or wraps may be an advisable option. Be sure to carry them in a location they can be quickly accessed.

-Decrease the clutter you carry.
If you babywear, it's imperative that all other loads be kept to a minimum. Any additional bag will be that much more of a hindrance. Keep your on-body carry to your baby,  pepper spray, your gun, your safety cutter and/or knife, money, identification and carry permit (if required), and phone. Avoid putting your gun in any off-body carry system, and if you must have another bag for diapers and baby gear keep that gear to a minimum and be ready to ditch the bag.

-Increase your personal boundaries.
It's not easy to keep people away from you. We live in a world where people will encroach upon your personal space and it's unrealistic to think you will be able to keep a ten foot radius of empty space around you at all times. That being the case, it's still important to be aware of who gets within your space and control it as best you are able.

Move away from people if you can, be alert and aware of those who are around you and tell people to stop and back up who make you uncomfortable. Most people who do not intend harm, but may also think you are a little nutso, will respect your request for distance. Those who do not are of more concern and may lead to my next point...

-Carry a less-than-lethal option.
This is not a suggestion as much as a command. Go! Do! Get pepper spray and carry it! Period.

Not everyone who is a threatening presence deserves to be, or can legally be, shot. But they might deserve a good dose of pepper spray. As an individual who should now be able to articulate the reasons why you cannot fight or escape with a baby strapped to your body, you may be able to explain why you preempted by pepper spraying someone who was escalating and making you feel threatened.

This absolutely does not mean that you get to go around pepper spraying people who make you feel uncomfortable. It is, however, an advisable alternative to going hands-on or escalating immediately to lethal force.

-Practice your defensive options with your chosen babywearing options.
Go to the range with your wrap or baby carrier and a weighted baby-doll or bag of kitty litter. Practice drawing and shooting, moving, magazine changes, and single-handed shooting. If you find errors in your carry system work them out now.

Babywearing and carrying a gun may not be the best tactical practice but that doesn't mean it can't or shouldn't be done. If you choose to do it, make sure you do it as wisely as possible. Take some practical steps to ensure both you and your baby are as safe and secure as possible.

The Tactical Diaper Bag

I hate diaper bags. I hate them so much I never really had a true "diaper bag." I was gifted one before my son was born, used it for about a week and ditched it in favor for something lighter and smaller.

Most of the time, barring extenuating circumstances (such as medical conditions, etc), your child does not need a built-in 1/2" thick, folding changing pad just to change a diaper. He doesn't need six changes of clothes for every clime and place. He doesn't need two blankets and six bottles. If you need all those things you are going on a trip, not just out and about and you might as well be taking a suitcase, not a diaper bag.

And who needs to be carrying BOTH a diaper bag and a purse? I know some women who work need to have the diaper bag to drop off at the baby-sitter or daycare and the purse to go to work with them but for the rest of us it's perfectly acceptable to combine the two AND make sure we have all of our self defense tools at hand as well.

I have put together what I have considered to be my "tactical" diaper bag (no matter how much I despise using the term "tactical").

A tactical diaper bag is more than what is carried in the bag but here are some things you might find if you were to search such a bag:

• gun


• knife


• multi-tool


• spare magazine/speedloader 


• pepper spray


• tactical pen


• medical supplies (beyond just a few bandaids and neosporin)


• flashlight


• Taser


• Stun gun


• Personal Alarm

Some people (men and women alike) think that just because they are carrying a certain tool (whether that is a knife, gun, pepper spray, Taser, etc) they are ready if they should need to use it.

Often, when I get to talking to other women about self defense they will chirp proudly, "I carry pepper spray."

To which I respond, "Great! Where is it?"

At which point I watch and silently count off the seconds as they retrieve their purse off the floor and dig through it while mumbling, "Well, it's around here somewhere."

We're lucky if they can gain access to it in less than twenty seconds.

That, my friends, is far too long.

A tool is only as good as its accessibility and even if you can't carry on body or choose to carry off body in a purse or bag it doesn't mean that you have to sacrifice that accessibility and security.

Maxpedition Versipack Jumbo

A tactical bag takes the carrying of the defensive tools to a whole new level of security and accessibility. There are bags out there that are specifically designed to be "tactical" and they make it very easy to put together in a configuration that works for you both as a kick-ass mother and as a warrior woman.

I have one of these such bags which I have often used as a diaper bag/purse. It is a Maxpedition Versipack Jumbo bag. When I got mine they only came in a very limited number of manly colors as they were originally marketed to military and police but when mothers like myself started to catch on to their potential in the civilian sector they added many more color options.

 The greatest thing about these types of bags is that they assume you will be carrying defensive tools and/or weaponry of some sorts and they make provisions for such tools.

 

All the goodies I frequently fit into my Versipack.

The back pocket of the bag is designed to hold a gun if you wish. There is a holster accessory you can purchase separately that you attach to the inside of the pocket to secure your firearm. The shoulder strap (which is designed to be carried cross-body) has a quick-release snap but also small loops and hooks for anything you might want to attach to the strap like a pen or pepper spray or even your car keys. In addition to that there are many more pockets and pouches that allow for reasonable placement of items by level of importance.

There are other "tactical" bag companies out there that make bags specifically geared towards the carrying of weaponry, but, let's face it, most of them look like.. well, tactical bags.

Some people don't care. In fact, as long as they can get a tactical bag in baby blue or pink with their child's name embroidered on the front it's good enough for them. But, some women do care what their diaper bag looks like and want something that is both aesthetically pleasing as well as functional as a tactical bag.

Before we talk about how to make or change your average diaper bag into a tactical diaper bag I want to talk about some rules to having and/or using a bag as a duel tactical/diaper bag.

Be Safe
Remember, a diaper bag is to aid you in caring for your child and is going to be around your child. If you plan on carrying a defensive tool of any kind in your diaper bag (whether it's a gun, knife, pepper spray, etc) you have a responsibility to make sure yours or any other child cannot gain access to that tool. It is your responsibility to have control of the bag at all times; be vigilant of your bag at all times for both access and security; be responsible for the items contained in the bag so that you never hand over the bag to someone else who is either unauthorized or uneducated in the tools within that bag; always have a way to secure your bag or your tools in the event you need to leave the bag, etc. Be safe and responsible.

Check Legalities
You and your baby (and therefore your diaper bag) go a lot of places. Some of these places do not allow specific defensive tools like guns and knives. Check the legalities of your tools in the places you are about to go before you go and have a back up plan for storage of your tools in the event that they are not allowed.

With that in mind, let's talk about how to choose a bag and set it up in a way that is both optimal for you as a mom, and as a defensive tool bag--a tactical diaper bag.

Have a shoulder strap that allows for cross-body carry.
There really is no negotiating this point. If you are going to carry a defensive tool in a bag it should be able to be attached to your body in such a way as it cannot easily slip off or be taken. The most secure way to carry a bag is to sling it across the body. This protects you from losing your bag and from someone doing a quick run and snatch.

A gun gets its own pocket.
This is another non-negotiable point. Every couple of months I read a story about a gun that goes off in a store because it was carried in some woman's purse and something got inside of the trigger guard causing a discharge. This should never happen. If there is going to be a gun in a bag or purse it should ALWAYS have it's own pocket (preferably with a zipper, snap or velcro for concealability and to keep little fingers out). That pocket should be equipt with some sort of a holster devise holding the firearm in such a way that the trigger cannot be accessed and so that the firearm can be gripped and drawn quickly and safely by the legal carrier. If you have to modify a pocket in your bag to do this then do it, but just accept the fact that if there is going to be a gun in the bag it's going to have its own designated pocket.

Prioritize placement of products in pockets. 
Ask yourself this question when considering what you are putting in your bag and where in your bag you are going to put it: "When am I going to need this?"
Even if you are going to need something several times a day (diapers or a change of socks, let's say) you don't necessarily need them IMMEDIATELY. Typically, you wait to change a diaper until you are in a place where you can lie your child down in a relatively controlled environment. You may be better served reserving the most accessible pockets and locations of your bag for items that you are may immediately need--such as a defensive tool. As stated before, the bottom of a purse or bag is no place for a defensive tool. If you can't access it it is no good to you.
Put priority on the things that can save your life and the life of your child and put those in a dominant, easy to access place while also considering safety and legalities.

Modify your bag. 
If you want a place to hook your pepper spray, keys or tactical pen on a strap or external pocket, get yourself a D-ring, S-biner, key ring, some heavy-duty thread, a needle, a nylon strip or other other attachment method and modify! Or, have that friend of yours who sews rig something up for you. If you feel your bag would better suit your needs if it had this or that modification, then do it. Make it quality work and make sure it's safe and responsible, but modify!

Example:
To show you just how easy it is to make even the most non-tactical diaper bag into a tactical diaper bag I'll give you an example to consider.

Coach Diaper Bag

This Diaper Bag made by Coach has "tactical diaper bag" potential written ALL over it (in addition to all of the "C"s). It has a shoulder strap capable of cross-body slinging. The pockets on the ends are perfect for things like tactical pens, pepper spray, knives, spare magazines/speedloaders and tactical flashlights in addition to a bottle or water bottle on the one side. The large pocket on the front is a zipper pocket that is perfect for something like a gun which could be retrofitted with a holster like a Remora that will keep the firearm both protected and in place. The heavy D-ring hooks on either side of the bag could be modified for keys with the addition of a simple S-biner.

Not all bags have "tactical diaper bag" potential but with these guidlines you should be able to shop smart and find a bag that works both for your needs as a mother and for your needs as something to tote around your tactical gear.